Friday, April 16, 2010

Picking up the slack for El Borak TGIF Edition.

Dont forget to mail your census forms.

Picking up the slack for El Borak 2.0

****One day my mommy was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room reading the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up. Then she said, (as only a mother would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"*****

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Picking up the slack for El Borak.

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. -O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. -Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. -Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America ! -Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. -Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. -Letterman

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America . Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone, including the President.

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did." the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off the tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States ?"


"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning..."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff shouted.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept a-saying he wasn't...

But you know how bad that sumbitch lies."

Saturday, April 03, 2010

For Nate

I hear he likes these things.

UPDATE: Sorry kids, there's been a terrible accident.