Giraffe in a compact car

Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

Good morning/afternoon/evening,

I wanted to send some sort of
holiday greeting to friends and family, but it is difficult in today's
world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met
with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following :

Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress ,
non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice
holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious
persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the
religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or
their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all .

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the
calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the USA is
necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the
race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wishee .

By accepting this greeting, please be advised that you are accepting
these terms : This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable on the proviso that there is no alteration
to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to
actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is
void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion
of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the
usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until
the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher .

Best Regards ( without prejudice )
Name withheld ( Privacy Act )

What did I miss?

2011-11-30T07:18:00.000-08:00

Back from my annual hunting trip. This year, we went rifle hunting in the Badlands and then bowhunting in the black hills. I didn't get a deer in either place. On the rifle hunt, I passed up on a mule deer and a whitetail, each with half their antlers broke off. Generally, you want a nice buck when you have to pack it out in that kind of country. We were there at the end of the season in a high pressure area so we were not seeing a lot of deer. The bowhunt was fun but did not connect this year.

A couple of other people got a deer on the trip, and a lot of pinochle was played. We did have a wild turkey supper, which is the highlight of the trip when we can get it.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

So my dog died. I went out this morning to feed the dog, and noticed that she had not touched the table scraps I had given her yesterday. She was dead. She had just had puppies about 10 days ago, which may have been the cause. So now I have 7 orphaned puppies to bottle feed, and when they are full grown, nobody will want them anyway.

And I'm an idiot. Because the reason I know nobody will want them is because a year ago she had a batch. I gave all those puppies away after unsuccessfully trying to sell them. At least I didn't have to shoot them. And I didn't get her spayed because I didn't think she would live many more years. I was right, but if I had she'd probably still be here.

So I make Bob Barker look like a smart guy. I originally did not spay the dog thinking I could sell a batch of pups once in a while. I never sent in her papers anyway, and time passed. I went 7 years with no problems, and then two batches of pups in a year.

I will probably keep one of the pups to replace her. I will bury her out in the yard and plant a tree next to her in the spring.

She was the best dog I've ever had.

I drink 2%

2011-10-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

Stolen from WRSA

Marketing

2011-10-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

Marketing is the process of separating a person from their money, in exchange for a good or service that they may or may not need. The less you need it, the better the marketing required to get one to buy it.

As a consumer, one tends to recognize the marketing, and build some resistance to it. And some times, you recognize you've been defeated, and tip your hat.

Hornady has a winner here. I will have to have a couple boxes of this stuff.

Pardon our dust

2011-09-21T09:47:00.001-07:00

I updated the look at little, and I seem to have lost the old comments. Oops.

Why we are doomed, August 2011 edition

2011-08-08T16:14:00.000-07:00

Watch it yourself. If this doesn't piss you off you are one of them.

All the way to the top?

2011-07-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

The most significant revelation of the week is that someone in the White House was made aware of the operation. Did the president or his chosen officials not only allow but encourage the illegal purchase and smuggling of arms into Mexico, a foolish and cynical attempt to further gun-control policies unobtainable through the legislative process? We now know that knowledge of the program was within a few steps of Obama.

But nobody cares. The law does not apply to liberals, the ends justify the means. Till someone gets caught.

Exporting Cats

2011-07-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently, a mountain lion from South Dakota ended up in Connecticut.

I always thought that the mountain lions we see here are a result of there being too many mountain lions in the mountains. They end up in our more populated farmland because there isn't enough room in the hills. This guy should not have had to go all the way to Connecticut to find a home with relatively few mountain lions in it.

Maybe he was gay and was looking for a place with more liberal laws.

Hold yer water

2011-06-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

Some video of the flooding. The corps of engineers may have screwed up, and mother nature sent the rains, and as a result we are releasing record amounts of water for the next couple of months. Everyone from Montana on down. We've flooded a couple nuke plants.

Oahe dam is about 9 inches from having water running over the emergency spillway, which would be all kinds of bad. They have the floodgates open instead. 6 tubes, 18 feet in diameter, nearly 160,000 cubic feet of water per second. 1.15 million gallons per second. In a day, enough water to cover 480 square miles a foot deep. The water would be exiting the tubes at about 100 feet per second, by my calculations. [Edit, actually 72 feet per second, as some of the water is going through the powerhouse.] At this rate, it would drain the entire lake, all 23,500,000 acre feet in 76 days, except the water is coming in upstream just as fast.

There is a lot of video on youtube. I would like to make the trip to see this myself.

Do your civic duty.

2011-06-10T15:46:00.000-07:00

Take moment and let your Rep know how you feel about Gunrunner.

Then Join Gun Owners of America.

Tilting at windmills?

2011-06-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

Animal Lovers, Idiots

2011-05-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

I heard an anecdote on the local radio station today. A woman was killed by a mountain lion, the mountain lion was then killed. It was a female with cubs. There was more money sent in to support the orphaned lion cubs than was sent in to support the woman's orphaned children. I think that highlights some misplaced priorities.

This is a pet peeve of mine, when people do not recognize the position of animals in the world. They are property, not people. So ,that is what makes stories like this even more tragic. It is one thing risking your life for other people, it is quite another to risk three or four decades of your life for an animal with a life expectancy* of a year or two.

I do love animals, but it would be foolish to risk my life for one, even a beloved pet. (I did make that decision once. My dog fell through the ice 150 yards from shore. I let her get herself out. I was sure she wouldn't make it.)

* I was going to say life span, but that would not be correct. Given the reproduction rates of wild ducks, 4-6 ducklings per year, the mortality rate has to be pretty high or the population would explode.

On the velocity of an unladen.......

2011-05-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

So I've been re-reading Surgical Speed Shooting over the last few days. The book is ok. The info in it isn't too bad but the book jumps around and is a little hard to follow. The book is about the isosceles shooting postition for shooting handguns. The author claims it is superior to the Weaver stance. I can't really say, I'm not proficient in either. But I was practicing the hand and arm positions and I found that the method really seems to align the pistol exactly where I am looking, the natural point of aim.

I stepped out my font door with my Ruger Mark II, and noticed a swallow flying towards me. I had seen several flying up under the eaves from inside the house earlier. They want to build a mud nest up there, and I don't really want them too. I assumed the stance as best as I knew it, and fired a shot as the bird turned and flew across my field of view about 15 feet away, leading it an inch or two. Imagine my surprise when it dropped. That is probably the best shot I have ever pulled off with a handgun, although it was mostly luck. I tried a shot at a bird on the ground 30 yards away and came very close. I am going to work on this some more, and maybe my handgun shooting will improve.

A quote,

2011-05-18T15:51:00.000-07:00

For those in Indiana, and elsewhere.

"And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?... The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin's thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If...if...We didn't love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation.... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward."
— Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Lint

2011-05-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Giraffe had her gall bladder removed. I'm not sure it was the right thing to do. We know a few people that have had it done, and there are usually side effects. Before surgery, she got violently sick for about a day once or twice a month. Hopefully any side effects are more bearable than that. Of course, it likely would have had to come out eventually. The surgeon said it was twisted up. Sometimes you do what the doctors tell you to do, whether they know what they are doing or not. The surgery went well, she is pretty sore, but so far so good.

I have not got my garden in yet. Still a very cold spring. Hoping to go bigger and badder with the garden this year. Also hoping to get some chickens. I'm thinking that gardening and having chickens and canning is a way to always have something to eat. Just in case the Schumer hits the fan. I bought 30 pounds of rice the other day. People looked at me funny. Hey, its cheap food, we like it, and the rice crop may not be so good this year due to flooding taking out 40% of the US production.

Still failing on my goal to have fruit trees. The deer got one last fall, 30 yards from the house. I stupidly thought they would leave it alone. They do not fear the house, they do not fear the dog, and I am unable to shoot enough of them to keep them away. The only solution is fence until the tree is large enough. I will be doing that from now on. The tree that they did not kill has shown no signs of budding so far this spring. I hope it didn't winter kill or something. I want apple, pear, plum, and cherry trees. I've probably planted a dozen trees over the years. I have one left alive. Maybe. There are a few others that I planted out away from the house that the deer killed. There are a few shoots coming up off them, so maybe something will happen. If nothing else, they can be pollinators.

Kinda neat, if you haven't seen it yet.

2011-04-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

This has been all over the net, but it is an interesting diversion sometimes.

Webcam chat at Ustream

Aerials for Arielle

2011-04-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

Arielle said she thought snow was pretty, so I wanted to post some pictures of the snow we got this year. Alas, I am lazy, and Mrs. Giraffe controls the camera, so I didn't get to it. Yet, all is not lost, I found some aerial photos from the Department of public safety that show a little bit of snow, as well as what it turns into in the spring, water.

In the county I live in, there is only one road open that runs in the east/west direction. I am lucky, I only have to go a few miles out of my way to get to work. A friend lives a mile from his farm, and has to drive 15 to get there. I am hopefully done pumping liquefied snow out of my basement.

Searching for Syracuse.

2011-04-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

The following I left as a comment out there on the webs:

Bee hives are dangerous, so why don’t we stop kicking them.

First, there is no shortage of tin horn tyrants that haven’t attacked us, even if you exclude our own. We like to pretend to be the world’s cop, but we are broke, we don't have the will, and everyone hates the police. We don’t have the ability to referee every ball game in the world. If we don’t need to attack Kim Jung the Ill (and we must not need to, since we haven’t), we don’t need to be in Lybiastan. If we can’t figure out Iraqistan in ten years, throw in the towel.

Second, I don’t think trying to bring freedom by force of arms to a muslim nation is very well thought out. They are culturally incapable of it. If they are capable of it, let them die to bring it about.

The key point, besides the pointless killing, is that we are broke. Sooner or later, Uncle Sam’s checks are going to start bouncing, and we surely won’t be safer then, no matter how many despots we depose now. These wars may not be the chief cause of our brokeness, but they don’t help.

I don't know how best to prosecute this war on terror, but I don't think we are doing it right. I'll bet the Professor will rip me a new one.

Now look what you made me do.

2011-03-08T15:34:00.000-08:00

Fine.

I wasn't going to do a post on Game. It seems you can't avoid stepping in it these days. I'm hearing the lamentations of the women and the cheering of the men.

Is there a socio-sexual hierarchy? It sure seems like there is. I don't reside at the top of it. It's easier to see from below. It seems pretty straight forward that women want to land as high a value man as they can, and men want to land as high a value woman as they can. Women are generally ranked on looks and personality.

Men are generally ranked by were they fit in the social strata. Women want the CEO, not the janitor. It is complicated, by the fact that women don't only look at status. They also look at wealth, and looks. Or at least all of these figure into a man's status in a woman's eyes. This is called hypergamy.

You might notice that none of the criteria are righteous in a Christian sense. It is not supposed to be this way.

Enter Game. Game is a man learning to fake a higher status to trick a woman into having a higher opinion of him. Usually the object of this is sex. It is blatant false advertising, on par with women wearing makeup to appear more beautiful than they really are.

So, naturally women are pissed.

In college, the bigger jerk a guy was, the more women he got. I never understood why, but the effect was real. Looking back, I am glad I was the nice guy. Less to feel guilty about now, and no diseases. Anyway, the reason a jerk gets women that is he is fooling her. The nice guy puts her on a pedestal and is shy. She doesn't need to respond to him. She can get him anytime she wants. He is signaling to her with his lack of confidence that she is a step up in the ranks for him. Therefore, he is a step down for her.

The jerk is sending the opposite signals. By acting like she doesn't matter, or just acting confident, he is telling her that he can get her, or a woman like her, any time he wants to. She believes that he is a higher status male, so now she thinks he's a catch. She may do foolish things trying to land him that she will regret later.

So nice guys finish last. You want the girl? Be an asshole.

So women. If you are angry about this, you can put a stop to it. Recognize what is going on, and stop responding to it. This is only going to work for a while anyway, till the whole social marketplace evolves and women start going for boys that cut themselves.

The good news for a Christian woman, is that if she has her eye on the ball, Game is irrelevant. Because she should be looking for a Godly man, and she should not be susceptible to Game. At least you can tell yourself you are game proof.

Look around the church, and see if you recognize a pattern. Are the most beautiful women evenly distributed among the nice guys and alpha males, or is there a pattern in the way people pair up? You don't often see the geek with the goddess. I think the pattern holds, though to a much lesser extent. I'll bet it varies a lot between churches.

As for game within marriage?

I am not sure game is completely useless. Sure it is wrong to be manipulative.

Yet, there are some things that are just good to know, and women don't come with an owners manual. Women don't always know what they want. Women don't always mean what they say, or say what they mean. She wants to feel like her husband can protect her, and may throw a tantrum just to see what he can handle. This is strange business for a man. Generally he thinks in straight lines and says what he means.

If there is anything positive in this, a man has more understanding as to why she is doing certain things, because she may not know herself, and she might not tell him if she did.

Enough with the game already.

Freedom of the press

2011-03-01T11:43:00.001-08:00

What it actually looks like:

Deadeye

2011-02-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

Mrs Giraffe is not fond of guns. She grew up in a house dominated by a gun fearing wussy, her mother. Her dad hunted a little, but he didn't pass it on to his daughters. He eventually quit, and his guns gather rust and dust somewhere. So Mrs. Giraffe didn't grow up as a shooter. I've been trying to get her to shoot a little, over the years. She had only fired a .22 until the other day.

Saturday, I decided she was going to have to shoot my .45 auto. There had been a large male Alaskan malamute around the place raising heck and abusing my new puppy. She called all the neighbors and nobody claimed him.

I told her to shoot him. She didn't want to. We don't have a dog catcher out in the country. I could have taken him to town but the dog cowered in fear every time I tried to handle him. I was afraid he would bite me. He usually left shortly after I got home.

The dog would be gone a couple days and then come back. One day after he had been a nuisance for over a week, the dog began grabbing the puppy and shaking it, and tossing it in the air. This was The Last Straw. She got the puppy into the house before he killed it. (the puppy is not housebroken, and I am allergic to cats and dogs, so he can't live inside.) She decided the dog must be killed. But she told me she didn't know how. I got rid of the it when I got home.

I had showed her how to operate my .45. She still remembered. But she had never shot it. She could have shot the dog if she needed to, but I think she was afraid, and she's never shot anything living. I threw a pop can out on the snowbank. She took aim and fired. I couldn't see any snow fly, I suspected she had missed by a mile. Then I noticed the hole through the can.

At least she can defend the house if she absolutely has to. I will try to make her more comfortable as time goes on.

Wherein the M4 is criticized.

2011-02-10T14:41:00.000-08:00

I had thought that the new piston ar's that are so fashionable right now were somewhat of a gimmick. Yes, the principle of not pooping where one eats* does make sense. I also thought that the current platform was working pretty well, but apparently this is disputed by some. I don't particularly feel the need to upgrade, as I don't live in the Iraqi desert, and I ain't got the money anyway.

* This refers to the AR's gas impingement system which routes propellant gases and therefore residue back into the action as a means to operate it.

H/T Concerned American

Licentiousness

2011-02-03T15:48:00.001-08:00

Brother Difster has attacked licensing:

The only reason for government based licenses is that governments like to have control and other people in various professions want to artificially limit competition.

I don't necessarily disagree with him that licenses are used to reduce competition. That is definitely a downside, and in some cases is intentional. That is not the reason for licensing. Licensing is used for professionals who require a certain amount of knowledge or skill to perform their profession.

I'll use land surveying as an example. On occasion I have heard of people who have set their own property corners. They will helpfully show you where they are, and how they went about putting them there, with their Stanley tape measure, no doubt. Obviously they don't know it is illegal to do this. We would listen politely and then ignore them. Even if they are in the correct place, they don't hold any legal validity. They must be set by a licensed Surveyor for that.

There are methods, and standards of care, and some legal knowledge that is required to properly perform a survey. Some expensive equipment, that the average guy doesn't have.

If a license wasn't required, joe shmoe could go out and set his car axles for corners, and they would be just as valid as anyone else's, despite their being 5 feet off from the correct location. The next door neighbor, not liking the lack of precision, could go out and set his own, leading to a dispute. That would be one benefit to licensing. Land Surveyors sometimes get it wrong, but not nearly as often, and respect for the license will prevent some disputes. There are correct procedures that are used for establishing lost corners that a licensed individual must know. There are standards for setting monuments, that display the surveyor's name and license number so the monument is identifiable as to what it is, and who put it there.

Now could a private firm certify land surveyors? I suppose. So you hire one endorsed by a private firm because you want it done correctly, and your neighbor hires a bum off the street and slips him and extra five to take an extra five feet. Who decides which one is right? More needless court action.

With regards to Engineering. Do you want to live in a building designed by a licensed engineer who met the requirements for obtaining a license, or do you want to live in the one designed by an idiot who bought the drafting software? Nobody would ever lie, overstate their qualifications or experience would they? Sure your family can sue him after you are dead. But they won't collect, he won't have any money, and you will still be dead.

How about the engineer who has been in practice for 40 years, has a stellar reputation, but isn't up on the latest information? We are required to have continuing education to keep our license. I will admit, the continuing education as it is right now can be a joke. The threat of having your license pulled is also an incentive to be careful, in cases where lives may not be at stake.

As far as private certification, yes it could work in theory. But then you have the opportunity for someone to fake the certification, or competing endorsements. One costs a lot of money and you have to prove you know your stuff, the other you can get out of a cracker jack box. Anybody can make up a website telling how they've been certifying the best doctors for decades. Worse, there is no way to stop malpractice, and in some cases, malpractice is in the client's best interest.

As for the government using licenses as control? The problem is not licensing, it is over-reaching government. Some occupations really don't need licensing.

Now the system of licensing is far from perfect. (I should know, I've got two of them.). Sometimes the barrier of entry is too high, and sometimes there is an old boy network in control of the process, as I am lead to believe about a state to my east. Lawyers have licenses, and look at what boon to the public that is. Most professions predate licensing.

However, sometimes barriers to entry are not just for limiting competition. They are sometimes used to keep the morons out. Public safety is a good reason for licensing, even if it is just a hairdresser spreading lice.

More government stupidity

2011-02-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

When legislators get cute.

State lawmakers in South Dakota have introduced legislation that would require all residents aged 21 and over to purchase a firearm beginning in 2012.

This is nothing more than a stunt. Requiring someone to buy a gun is no more constitutional than requiring them to buy insurance.

Or is it? You see this is a state law, not a federal one. While the feds are prohibited from these over-reaching laws by the constitution, the states are not so long as they don't do anything otherwise prohibited. So the law may actually be legal.

Which is why the following quote actually makes the lawmaker look the fool:

"Do I or the other cosponsors believe that the State of South Dakota can require citizens to buy firearms? Of course not. But at the same time, we do not believe the federal government can order every citizen to buy health insurance," Wick told the Sioux Falls Argus Leader.

Anyway, I think it would be hilarious if it passed as is.

Elk

2011-01-31T11:56:00.000-08:00

Res showed his elk pictures. Here is some my brother took this year. The elk are out in an area burned in the Jasper forest fire, the largest in Black Hills history. My aunt took some pictures of a couple of huge bulls, and the deer that we shot, but I am supposed to fix their computer in order to get them.

Probably irrelevant

2011-01-27T13:01:00.000-08:00

Like Obama's citizenship, or lack thereof, the Leviathan will probably ignore this . It's unconstitutional anyway, so that fact that the amendment was never actually passed can't possibly mean anything to them.

What's a Snooki?

2011-01-25T09:31:00.000-08:00

Apparently, in places that are not flyover country, or at least have cable, there is a television show called Jersey Shore. While not having actually seen it, I believe it follows the typical reality show formula, showing bad people at their worst, with this show excelling in this regard.

Then there's this gal Snooki from the show, who wrote a book, most likely in the manner Obama wrote his.

I have to say there are some funny parts, but I am talking about the Amazon reviews, not the book.

Happy New Year

2011-01-10T15:40:00.000-08:00

2011 started with a bang. My father in law had open heart surgery, we just brought him home. My sister in law got married in the hospital so that he could attend.

So we made the papers and the local news, apparently it made good PR.

It finally occurred to me, dense as I am, that things could have been much much worse than they turned out. So I guess I can't complain about what a bad year it is, actually its pretty darn good.

I hope everyone else is doing OK.

Deer hunting.

2010-09-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

This deer, in a matter of minutes bags a dog and nearly bags a cat. I felt a little sorry for the dog, but the cat was a missed opportunity.

On the elusivness of wapiti.

2010-09-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

Just got back from an elk hunting trip in north central Colorado. We didn't get an elk. Three of the four of us had elk within bow range, but we couldn't seal the deal. I had a calf at 15 yards, and didn't shoot. I'd heard a bull bugle, and got ahead of them, so I knew he was around somewhere. He never showed.

I don't have the words to describe the disparate feelings of dejection and frustration, yet wanting to do it again, and how it is good to be home but it sucks to be back here.

Anyway, it was an experience I'll remember and hopefully can do again sometime.

Anybody want a dog?

2010-07-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

I was talked into taking home a stray black lab about a month ago. He isn't working out. He won't stay home, and the neighbors, while not as trigger happy as El Borak., have expressed that they'd prefer he didn't show up at their place. I take it to mean that their fingers are getting itchy. He barks. He appears to have hip dysplasia. He really has no useful attributes, but he is a nice dog.

He is gunshy, and I shoot once in a while, so I don't think that endears him to me. I tried putting the stay-home-shock-collar on him the other day, and he took off yipping all the way to the neighbors. Those things don't work well if you don't train the dog, so that is my failure, not his. I picked him up a mile south. He spends his time tied up to the doghouse, lest he run off.

I told Mrs. Giraffe he had to go, and she said she'd find a place for him. Time is up tomorrow, but I think he will get a stay for another week.

Sorry dog, I gave it a shot.

There's a reason for these things.

2010-06-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

There's usually a reason, or at least an excuse, for the draconian laws passed by our various governments. In many cases, the medicine is worse than the cure.

For example,divorce laws favor women. The men are raped with regards to finances and child custody. In most cases, society would be better off if no fault divorce had never come about. But then, once in a while, we come upon a specimen that would probably serve as exhibit A in favor of these laws.

Keeping the example of divorce, we have my brother in law. Soon to be ex brother in law, if events follow their present course.

This is a male (I guess I should not call him a man) who has not held down a meaningful job in a decade. He has not made more than $10,000 in any year since I don't know when. To compensate for his lack of income, he has spent them into bankruptcy. That was a few years back. He has done it again, but I don't know if bankruptcy is possible so soon after the last one. Some laws have been added to the books that make it more difficult and less beneficial as well. Generally speaking any financial decision has been 180 degrees from common sense. They are upside down on their subprime financed house. They run up a bill at daycare till they get kicked out, rinse lather repeat. Note that on days that he doesn't work he still sends the kids to daycare. Any attempts at financial assistance are immediately squandered to buy more things.

You might ask why my sister in law chooses to stay with such a wonderful provider. Well it is probably due to his outstanding moral character. Except for two affairs in the last few years, (neither girl over 18 years old, barely beat the statutory minimum on one) and numerous other relatively minor infractions he is a paragon of virtue. I'm not going to even start on his parenting skills.

He does have dreams, though. He wants to be a police officer. May God save us all if he ever slips through that background check.

In short he is a narcissistic, predatory, child-man. I should probably be in prison for his murder if I was a better man myself. At least he doesn't take drugs, yet if he did, he couldn't hardly be a worse husband or father.

In her defense she is stupid. That's probably an uncharitable way to put it. She has a learning disability from brain damage at birth. She was and is an easy mark, I guess. She doesn't reason well.

But, she has reached her breaking point, and if she is able to successfully resist his alternately abusive and begging behavior, she will be rid of him. All in all, she will be much better off.

It occurs to me that if her parents had had any say in who she married, none of this would have happened.

NRA: Weak little sister

2010-06-17T15:44:00.000-07:00

This has nothing to do with why I'm no longer an NRA member, but it is another reason I won't rejoin.

Now that she's more than a week old.

2010-05-29T09:52:00.001-07:00

Ta Da!!!!

I do good work.

I'm not the NRA

2010-05-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

Although I could be.

Picking up the slack for El Borak TGIF Edition.

2010-04-16T15:39:00.000-07:00

Dont forget to mail your census forms.

Picking up the slack for El Borak 2.0

2010-04-16T15:07:00.000-07:00

****One day my mommy was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room reading the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up. Then she said, (as only a mother would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"*****

Picking up the slack for El Borak.

2010-04-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. -O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. -Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. -Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America ! -Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. -Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. -Letterman

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America . Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone, including the President.

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did." the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off the tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States ?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning..."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff shouted.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept a-saying he wasn't...

But you know how bad that sumbitch lies."

For Nate

2010-04-03T13:01:00.001-07:00

I hear he likes these things.

UPDATE: Sorry kids, there's been a terrible accident.

troll baiting, for sport

2010-02-09T15:05:00.000-08:00

Farmer Tom put up a post about atheists and the intellectual thrashing thereof.

Wouldn't you know it, soon the resident ankle biter shows up.

I thought I'd preserve it, since Haloscan is leaving us tomorrow.

rusncap: Wow. Mickelson's response may be the most retarded thing I've seen in several weeks... and I've heard portions of Palin's speech. I'm glad you like it, FT. For the record, the Iowa pigs, though less hardy than their Haitian counterparts, are still smarter than you and Mickelson. Put together.

Giraffe: Wow. Mickelson's response may be the most retarded thing I've seen in several weeks...

You must be one of those less evolved species.

rusncap: I hate to inform you, Giraffe, but all humans are the same species. You just happen to be one of its less intelligent members. But, as those of us who actually bothered with learnin' things know, every gene pool has a shallow end.

P.S. Just because stupidity is couched in sarcasm doesn't make it any less stupid. Just makes it more desperate.

Giraffe: every gene pool has a shallow end.

You blithering moron. You just made the same argument that you are attempting to make fun of Mickelson for.

rusncap: Erm, no Giraffe. I didn't. It's too bad you don't understand biology. Just because you're in the shallower end of the gene pool (I'm joking, of course, just because you're stupid does not mean you're inbred) does not imply that you're a different species.

Oh, and Mickelson didn't make actual arguments. His only coherent statement was that Christians also donate to charity, which is true.

Giraffe: Yes, you did.

You said I am in the shallow end of the gene pool. He said Haitians are in the shallow end of the gene pool (although he was utilizing a literary device known as sarcasm. Look it up.) There are also so nice quotes from the atheist hero Darwin regarding different races and which end of the gene pool they are in.

Are you sure you are not a chimp?

rusncap: No, retard. He said "sarcastically" that Haitians are a different species. If you don't understand the difference between "shallow end of the gene pool" and "different species", you might want to go back to H.S. biology. Then again that's not such a bad idea.

As for Darwin, what's he got to do with anything?

"There are also so nice quotes" -- English isn't your first language, is it?

Giraffe: "Some" nice quotes. Work with me.

I'll spell it out for you. Hector Avalos selected Pat Robertson to make fun of. He did this because Pat isn't representative of mainstream Christians (although Hector can pretend he is) and said some things that are easy to make fun of. That way you can smear all Christians using an extreme example.

In response, Mickelson selected atheist hero Charles Darwin, the father of evolutionary theory, and made fun of some of the wild and crazy things that he said. The funny thing is, these are some of the actual implications of the theory you are expousing here.

You come along, and try to make fun of me, unwittingly using the same argument that Mickelson used sarcastically.

Giraffe:......using the same argument that Mickelson used sarcastically.

You know. The one you said was "retarded"

At this point, I had to leave. Suppose he'll follow me back here?

2010-01-22T08:11:00.001-08:00

Best Fails of 2009

2010-01-14T11:58:00.001-08:00

"Gun Inspector"

2009-12-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

Oh come on, give the guy a break. Really, who hasn't done this:

Kinky ATF Agent Gets In Big Trouble In Big Easy

Friday challenge

2009-10-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

February 31, 2047

For immediate release:

Greenspace Moves to Prevent Di-Hydrogen Oxide Contamination

Building upon our success in creating the Lunar Wild Area Refuge (LunWar) to prevent the tracking of pristine lunar surfaces by moon buggies, Greanspace has moved once more to protect the lunar environment.

Hydro-Unlimited, a subsidiary of Haliburton!, has proposed drilling for di-hydrogen oxide beneath the moon’s surface. Di-hydrogen oxide is a major component of acid rain on Earth, yet Haliburton! executives tell us it is safe.

Proponents of drilling claim that the lunar habitat is lifeless (we disagree), and therefore cannot be damaged by human activities. As we showed in creating LunWar, human activity is damage. If we hadn’t acted, the entire lunar surface would be covered in tracks and footprints. Since the moon is atmosphere impaired, these tracks create permanent scars on the surface of the moon.

Now the industrialists are at it again, proposing to move into LunWar with their drilling rigs, tracking up the surface in their quest for di-hydrogen oxide. Think for a moment what a catastrophe it would be if one tanker of di-hydrogen oxide were to be spilled. They claim it would quickly covert to the solid state, but dare we trust them? The capitalist pigs claim that the di-hydrogen oxide is essential for life. Well, too much is fatal too.

There is a subtlety in the statement that di-hydrogen oxide is "essential to life" that must be explored. Is this an admission of the existence of life on the moon? We think so! The next time someone laughs at you when you insist on protecting the Barking Moonbat, tell them even Haliburton! Execs have admitted they exist.

Call your senator today and tell her not to allow drilling in LunWar.

Giraffe
President
Greenspace

Liar in chief

2009-07-31T15:02:00.001-07:00

(picture shamelessly stolen)

Once again, we have a president whose first reaction when in an uncomfortable position is to lie. People accused Bush of lying. More often he was simply wrong. Obama has been caught in several lies, but the state run media never calls him out.

Get your kids into archery.

2009-04-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

The pleasure of a good story, well told:

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbitch.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland, so there really wasn't any fire danger. Ill put it this way - a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I look over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let’s face it, to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles) to add to the excitement.

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can, but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie. A pound of Pyrodex and 16ounces of ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker, you know? You know what? Screw that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of Pyrodex and dumped it on, too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15ft and lit the two-stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH SHIT! He just got home from work. So help me God, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can. Oh, shit!

When the shock wave hit, it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fucking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion; and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE! There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback – ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE DAMMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!! His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard, and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know. I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so, and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again... Thanks, Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been bitching about that thing for years, and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating. Or both..

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It’s good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life. Something they won’t learn in school.

Source.

Squid!!

2009-02-12T15:00:00.000-08:00

Friday Challenge for this Week

slight story modifications: my object won't fit in a bag, and I'm on a classified mission.

Squid Wars, The Next Generation

I struggled with my cargo in the airlock. It was heavy. I lugged it to the infirmary module and did a quick reconnaissance of the station. I was pleased to find that there was a spare model 5105 maintenance droid stored in one of the warehouse modules.

I linked my handheld into the droid and uploaded the Engineer program.

"Sir?" the droid said when it came online.

"Perform a census of this station, inspect my ship, and report back to me." I said.

"Yes sir," said the Engineer and it left.

I returned to the equipment I had brought. I plugged it into the infirmary receptacles and powered it up.

"Ready" was flashing on the screen. Opening the supply case I selected a membrane, and installed it in the slot. I pressed start.
_______

After a couple of hours, the Engineer droid returned to report.

"Weapons, crew and comm modules destroyed. Estimate 1 week repair on crew module. Weapons and comms will need to be totally re-manufactured. Estimate 21 months to construct the necessary fabrication droids. There are 1 platoons worth of lght weapons in storage. The..."

I interupted him. "Forget the comms. My orders are for communications silence anyway. We will construct receivers if we have time. Maybe we can get some news. As for weapons, we can't handle the Kalimari if they return anyway. We need to get out of here before they return. How soon can you repair my spacecraft?"

"Your ship is poor condition. If you plan to abandon this station, we can cannibalize some of the materials. However, some materials will need to be obtained from the moon's surface. We will need to construct a full line of droids from mining and smelting droids to machinists, and of course, a droid to build the droids. I estimate 6 months. Captain Smith did a full survey scan of this moon, the materials are here."

"What happened to the crew?" I asked

"According to the log, two were on the ship when the Kalamari surprised them. The rest were in the crew's quarters."

"What else was in the station's computer? Did the crew find a habitable planet in nearby?"

"Yes sir. There is planet that scores 87 just over 5 parsec's from here, carrying capacity 7.5 billion. They had not reported it to command yet."

"Good" I said. "that's where we will be going. We will start a station type 14 sequence when we get there. How long till we can be fully operational?"

The droid processed for a full minute. "I estimate we can complete a Mahi-Mahi class cruiser constructed in orbit in about 100 years."

I nodded. So I wasn't going to live to see this through.

"Sir, according to the station's main computer, the Kalimari ship's beacon was activated. "

"I assumed it was. That's why we have to leave so quickly." I said.

"The computer estimated a 57 percent chance they will investigate and, if they come 6 months before ...." said the Engineer.

"They'll come." I said. "We are going to need an espionage droid to alter their ship's log. If we hide our activities, they might not know to come looking for us. You'd better get started."

"Yes sir." The Engineer hurried away.
________
The next day, I checked the machine. "Membrane ready." was flashing on the display. The membrane had formed into a small bulb shape.

I selected a capsule from the supply kit, placed it into the receptacle, and pressed start.
______
The droid passed by as I was checking the machine.

"Are you using that antique?" he asked

"Yes, that's all they gave me." I replied.

"You are not following the protocol?" he asked.

"No, I am not" I admitted.

"Shall I make preparations?" he asked.

"Yes, in a few weeks" I said.
_____

Eight months earlier, I had been summoned with about 100 others to the command ship. Admiral Kent addressed us.

"The Kalimari have us boxed in this quadrant of the galaxy." he said. "We are in desperate straits. My staff has come up with a bold new plan to eradicate them and they assure me of it's success. You are not a part of this plan. Since I don't share the optimism of my staff, you are plan B. Each of you has been selected based on your psych/med files for this mission. As you know, we have only resorted to this a few times in our history. Good luck."

We were broken up into smaller groups, and given our orders.
_____

After eight weeks, I was starting to believe we might make it before the Kalimari returned. The Engineer had worked furiously, and I helped where I could. The new Engineer software was amazing for optimizing solutions. We were now turning out five or six new droids a day. My ship had been completely disassembled and was being modified into an makeshift transport. We would take the droids with us.
_____

The machine was ready for the next stage. The membrane had grown leathery and opaque was much larger now, and was suspended in a tank of water. It moved occasionally like a living creature. I watched as the medi-droid made a 7 centimeter slit in the membrane. The droid inserted the Ed unit and glued the membrane shut.
______

The droids had repaired the comm reciever on the ship. A few intercepts had come in. Things were obviously deteriorating in the war. No rescue would be coming.

Then we picked up the Kalimari message. Two more cruisers had been reassigned to investigate the beacon. We had a month.

______
The machine cycle was complete. The tank of water had been drained and removed, the membrane lay heavily the floor. I nodded to the medi-droid, and it selected its scalpel.

She had arrived.

She coughed and sputtered as the medi-droid severed the umbilical cord. The droid tucked the stub of the cord under a flap of skin and used the surgical glue to seal it. That was the tell-tale mark of a clone, no belly button.

She noticed me.

"What.... " She stopped. Her voice was raspy, she obviously was surprised at the sound of it. It sounded different of course, now that she was out of the engineered amniotic fluid. She had known this would happen, of course. The Ed unit was very thorough.

What is my name,?" she managed.

The medi-droid was cleaning the slime off of her.

"Eve" I said.

"How many are here?" she asked

"Just the two of us."

She was surprised. "Shall we get started?"

"Not yet" I replied.

"You do have embryos?"

"I have a full genetic library." I said.

"Then....." She was thinking. She was a smart one. "You're not following protocol?"

"No. " I admitted.

She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Perfect. She'd been selected for this, thousands of years ago. She felt my eyes.

Her eyes widened slightly. "Do you have any clothes for me?" She regarded me suspiciously. There had been abuses of of clones in the past. The Ed unit must have taught her that too.

"I..uh, didn't.." I stammered, "I didn't think of it at all." I rushed to my quarters and returned with a sweatshirt and some exercise pants. "I'll have one of the droids make you some closthes right away."

She seemed reassured.

"Have you got anything to eat?" she asked.

"Yes, this way" I said. The medi-droid had been fitting her with a walk/therapy droid. The ed unit had made her exercise, but it still took a while to learn to walk. We started slowly toward the dining module.

"So why?.... She trailed off.

"I wanted some company." I said.

After a while she said "So, I'm to be your wife?"

"If you wish." I said. "If you don't want to, I'll have plenty to pick from. I have 49 more human capsules. They are all female. The male seeds were sent to stations where crewmen were needed."

"That's the protocol." she said.

"So if I'm going to be a baby factory, I may as well be the only one with a husband." she said and smiled. Apparently, she was deciding she could trust me.

I didn't say anything.

"Is something wrong?" she asked "Do I displease you?"

"It's just that.... you" I said softly "You're one of my ancestors. It's just a little weird."

"This isn't the first time the human race has had to repopulate" She agreed.

We completed the evacuation 10 days later.

The Friday Challenge

2009-01-30T09:40:00.000-08:00

For the Friday Challenge:

Cote sat in the passenger seat, ahead of his pilot brother Cliff. He strained his eyes through his oil covered goggles, coughing at the acrid taste of smoke and oil.

The engine coughed its last, and there was only the roar of the wind. Then there was a small explosion, and flames streamed back over the engine cowling, threatening to roast him alive.

He turned around, screaming, "Watch out Cliff, you are going to hit the barn!"

Cliff's seat was empty.

"Oh shit" muttered Cote.
_____

Beth Key glared at Doctor Darkness. "I could never be happy with the likes of you!"

"Why not?" he smiled. "I'm just as handsome as Cliff, and almost as wealthy."

"You are an evil pig!" she cried, as she looked back to the barn.

_____
Cote lept from the plane, and pulled his ripcord. Nothing happened. He clawed at his oily goggles, but he couldn't see anything.

He fought the urge to scream. "I'll die with dignity" he thought to himself.
He finally got his goggles off just as he glanced off the top of a large haystack. The hay scratched his face as he flew over a fence and landed in a large pile of manure.

"Oh shit" he moaned as the acrid taste of smoke and oil was replaced with something far worse.

______

Cliff's parachute had opened 25 feet about the ground, and the rigging caught in a tree. His forward momentum slowed as the 'chute tore and the branches broke. The 'chute tore free and he landed on his feet at a jog. "Just like I practiced" He thought to himself. As he ran, he looked down at the the wet stain that began at his crotch and spread down each pant leg. "

"I can't let anybody see that", he said to himself. He came to a barbed wire fence, leaping over it easily. He ran along the edge of a farm pond, stopping long enough to wet himself down to hide the fact that he had wet his pants. He looked at column of smoke rising a short distance away and shivered, and then turned and slowly walked away.
____

Cote sat next to the water trough. He had a horrible headache. He was sure he had broken a couple of ribs in the fall. He was wracked with pain as he vomited one last time.

"I'll kill Cliff for sure this time" he swore, wiping his mouth.

"I need to find Beth" he thought. He didn't know what the dim witted dame saw in his brother, but he couldn't leave her with someone like Doctor Darkness.

___________

Cliff had heard the sound of Doctor Darkness's planes in the distance. He decided it was time to get out of the open. He spotted treetops over a small rise in the ground. "I better get under the trees." he thought, turning towards them. He froze as he topped the rise. Between him and the trees was a road. Between him and the road was a fence. Between him and the fence was a herd of cattle. One by one, they picked up their heads to stare at him.

__________

"He's dead you know." Said Doctor Darkness.

Beth just looked blankly at him.

He smiled slightly, when he noticed there were no tears on her cheeks. Then he turned to watch his minions as they piloted their airplanes above.

"You will see things my way" he said.
_____

The sound of the planes returning interrupted Cote's thoughts. He peered around the haystack and watched the formation approaching. As he watched two objects fell from the lead aircraft's wings. The objects whistled slightly as they flew over his head towards the wreckage of the plane and the burning barn.

He was knocked off his feet as twin explosions rocked the ground. Debris and large pieces of lumber rained down on him. A large burning board landed on his back. He jumped up and dove back into the water trough.
______

Cliff had stood nervously for a few seconds, looking at the cattle ahead, hearing the planes getting louder behind. He decided he'd go around. He relaxed a little when the cattle resumed feeding as he skirted the herd.

And then, he heard the explosions.

____

Beth Key looked at clouds of smoke as the planes wheeled away.

"I guess you're right", she said. "He was a fool anyway."

Doctor Darkness grinned. "I knew you never really cared for him."

"How did you know?" she asked.

"I am an evil genius." he said simply.

"There would be many benefits to being with me. You will be able to scoop all the crime stories for your newspaper. I can make you the editor before long. I am going places, and I can take you with me" he declared.

Beth looking into his eyes. "I love a powerful man, Doctor....."

"Call me Bruce," said Doctor Darkness.

_____________

Cote got out of the water trough, and promptly stepped on a board. He howled as a protruding nail penetrated deeply into his foot. Grimacing, he pulled himself free and limped away from the barn. He saw a farmhouse a ways off. A black car was parked in the farmyard, a man and a woman were getting in.

"If I can make it to the end of the driveway I can cut them off!" Cote thought as he quickened his stumbling pace, slipping into a corn field.
____

"Lets find a restaurant" said Beth, "I am famished."

"Of course, we can't be seen together," Doctor Darkness said. "We will go to my lair."

"I am a virtuous woman!" she said, "surely you cannot be so forward!"

There was a short silence, and then they both laughed.

Suddenly, Bruce slammed on the brakes, and the car skidded to a halt. In the road ahead, a man had stepped out from behind a tractor. At least she thought it was a man. He stood there in tattered, filthy clothes, watery blood dripping from him. It was Cote, she realized.

"Doctor Darkness, I cannot let you take her" Cote called.

"His name is Bruce." Beth Key said. "and I want to go with him."

Cote blinked in disbelief.

Doctor Darkness got out of the car, holding a pistol that he had produced from somewhere. Seeming to think better of it, he put the pistol away and retrieved a tire iron.

"You might not want to watch this." He said to Beth. He pointed to to a tire swing, hanging from a rope in a nearby tree. "I am going to hang Cote Hangar once and for all!"

He stepped forward, brandishing the tire iron.

Beth Key lay down across the front seat, not wanting to watch the coming violence.
_____

Cliff saw the cattle start when the explosions rocked the barn. He ran, hearing the thunder of hooves. Soon though, he noticed the sound was getting fainter. He slowed, looking back. The cattle were running the other way. He stopped to catch his breath. He couldn't believe his luck.
______

Cote readied himself. He knew that in his condition he wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight.

"Oh shit" he thought to himself as Doctor Darkness slowly closed the distance.
_______

Over the sound of the retreating cattle, Cliff heard another sound. The aeroplanes! Horrified, he watched as the cattle turned, running from the low flying craft. Now they were coming towards him!

He ran, screaming, towards the fence.
_________

"I've waited years for this." Doctor Darkness said.

Cote merely waited.

But then the ground began to shake again, slowly increasing in volume.

They turned towards the sound. Something was coming from the other side of the corn field.

And there was another sound, a piercing shriek, barely heard over the approaching thunder.
_____

Cliff dove over the fence, scrambling into a corn field. As he plowed through the stalks, heard the cattle crashing through the fence behind him. He stumbled as he exited the corn field and ran smack into a tractor, his head head hitting the steel frame. He crumpled in a heap underneath it.
______

Cote and Dr. Darkness didn't have time to be surprised by Cliff's entrance as the cattle erupted out of the corn. Cote tried to dive behind the car, but Dr. Darkness hit him in the knee with the tire iron. Cote lay next to the front tire as the cattle roared past. Only four or five trampled on his exposed legs.
___________

Cliff awoke with a start. The cows were gone. He got to his feet. Barely discernible with all the dust covering him, there was a man lying in the road. He was obviously dead. Beth was sitting in the car. She was looking at the dead man with an unhappy expression, and then she saw him.

"Cliff!" she cried "I knew you'd save me."

"Of course." he said getting into the drivers seat. "Why would you think differently?"

They didn't hear the moan as he started the car.

There was a lurch as the car ran over something. Cliff piloted the car around the body in the road.
_____
Some say that a villain was defeated by a hero that day, but one man knew better. Two months later, the Denver Sentinel reported that Cliff Hanger and Beth Key were murdered. One villain was destroyed, but one much more diabolical was created. It is unknown how many women bled to death in back alleys because of the twisted Cote Hanger. This story should serve as a warning: Those who take credit are not always the hero. Perhaps there is a little bit of Doctor Darkness in us all.

demotivator

2009-01-27T11:32:00.000-08:00

Or make a better one.

Suzanna Gratia Hupp explains meaning of 2nd Amendment!

2009-01-22T18:26:00.001-08:00

Why we are doomed: Version 1.0

2009-01-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

"the sum of the U.S. government's liabilities and other financial commitments now exceeds the collective net worth of its citizens."

As a reference

2008-12-30T15:25:00.000-08:00

For Res Ipsa, who will need this, stolen from JACIII.

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
_________ ___________________________________ ________________________

____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with over sized tires? __Yes __No

C. A water bed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

______________________________________________ ________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want lto be shot would be:
__________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

__ __________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
____________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

____________________________

_____________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

_____________________________
_____________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Sig nature & Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi or State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six months for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating, as they appear below:

Daddy's Rules for Dating
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) :

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them..

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill y ou. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.Please do not do this. The only information I require from you, [besides the application above] is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear,and more than an hour goes by, do n ot sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot bellied, balding, middle-aged,dimwitted has-been fart. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing,merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and fifty-five wooded acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early,then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Have a good time!!

Christmas thoughts.

2008-12-26T08:28:00.000-08:00

It is kind of fun watching an 8 month old girl tear into the wrapping paper. She doesn't get it yet, she just likes the paper.

Christmas at the inlaws. Such a pleasant misery. Good food, badly behaved kids and pets, and cat allergies. Great fun.

Today, I am off to try hunting coyotes with my brother. Maybe burn off some of those cookies.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Start thinking up your new years resolutions.

Giraffe out.

True

2008-08-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

Your Slogan Should Be

Between Love and Madness Lies Giraffe

The Slogan Generator

Cuteness

2008-07-30T15:59:00.001-07:00

That is all.

from the inbox

2008-07-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you get an email that is true:

A Lady Named Irena - a true story

There recently was a death of a 98 year old lady named Irena.

During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist.

She had an ulterior motive...

She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German).

Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of her tool box she carried, and she carried in the back of her truck a Burlap sack, (for larger kids).

She also had a dog in the back, that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in, and out of the ghetto.

The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog, and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.

During her time and course of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants.

She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, and arms, and beat her severely.

Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out, and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard.

After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it, and reunited the family.

Most of course had been gassed.

Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes, or adopted.

Last year Irena was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize....

She LOST.

. . . . . . . Al Gore won, for doing a slide show on Global Warming.

Fireworks

2008-07-07T15:21:00.000-07:00

From Kevin M, Via Dr. Helen

My history with fireworks:

When I was a kid, my father was Vermont State Champion trapshooter in the handicapped division. He paid me 25 cents for each box of 12-guage shells I reloaded for him, so we had gobs of Hercules Red-Dot shotgun powder around the house, as well as a subscription to The Shotgun News. I saw an ad in the Shotgun News for empty Mark II Pineapple grenade casings, so, being a kid, I ordered one.

It arrived, I filled it with Red-Dot, put in a model rocket fuse and sealed the opening with candle wax (melted in a pot on Mom's stove...I'm not using a lit candle because even though I'm really stupid, I'm not friggin' suicidal!).

I bury the grenade in Mom's tomato garden next door to our neighbors' house, a pair of elderly and wonderful French-Canadians. I light the fuse and run like Jessie Owens.

BOOOOOM!!!

Mom no longer has any tomatoes, there's a crater big enough to bury our dog in the garden, Mr. Rouleau dashes outside his house screaming expletives in French and I take off into the woods to develop my skills in unassisted living for two days before returning home to one seriously p*ssed-off mother and a father who, when he learned of the calamity, wet himself.

Fireworks, people. Let the pros handle them.

My father-in law watched a yukon burn up after a kid inside it somehow got his sack of fireworks ignited. The car filled up with smoke and one kid got seriously burned because he couldn't find his way out.

A guy got killed near here over the weekend making a sparkler bomb.

I don't get a big kick out of fireworks so much any more. Maybe when my kid(s) get older. Anyways, have fun, be careful, and if you have a funny story, by all means share it.

For Heidi

2008-06-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

Because she was grouchy.

Another pic

2008-05-07T14:59:00.001-07:00

A pic

2008-05-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

And then there were three.

2008-05-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

7lbs 15 oz
19.5"
May 1, 2008

Abby Jeanne

Mom and baby are fine, although Dad's head is swelling up pretty bad.

Thanks for the prayers. I'll get some pictures up eventually.

Life is happening.

2008-04-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

I probably will not post very often for a while. There is a lot going on.

At work:

the good: our services are suddenly in demand again. Which is good. Hard for the boss to pay us with no money coming in. It was a long winter.

The bad: a co-worker's wife lost her fight with cancer, then he had a heart attack a week later. So we are short an important piece, and who knows when he will be back (though he is doing well, considering). Stressful situation for his family.

The boss's wife had a heart attack last fall. She is doing well too, but rehab and appointments take him away a lot too. A lot more responsiblity is falling on me, so I guess I ought to quite feeling sorry for myself (i have it good, after all) and put the shoulder to the wheel.

At home, baby Giraffe is making his presence felt though he/she hasn't arrived yet. Mrs. giraffe has been put on bedrest due to swelling. She is not due till mid May, but I don't think it will take that long. The doctor was talking about inducement. There is no immediate concern, but with the swelling and her blood pressure starting to rise, I think the doctor wants to get the baby out as soon as it is safe.

We had a bet. She thought the baby would come before the end of April, I thought in May. With a due date well into May I figured it was a sure thing. I thought I lost the bet last night but the contractions lessened and we were sent home. It is difficult, having not gone through this before, to know what is labor and what is the warm up.

Of course, we are not ready. I put the crib together, but it was a cheap piece of junk and it was broken in two places. So we are going to get our money back and we bought a better quality used one in to replace it. At lunch today, she said she didn't know if she was ready to take care of a baby. I don't think you ever are. But it will be a good thing. I have to figure out the car seat. All of the Mrs's. friends say they take forever to install.

Friday, we had our second spring blizzard, worse than the first. We didn't try to go home this time. Which was a good idea, the road ditches were full of vehicles the next day. We got just shy of 20 inches of snow, and the snowblower broke, so we are just going to have to wait for it to melt. If Algore showed up talking about global warming they would not find his body till the snow melted. Spring has been slow in arriving about the last five years in a row. Pretty unusual to get snow this late to say the least. I was actually thinking it was time to mow the lawn the first time. Odd to have to wait for the snow to melt so you can mow.

Useful Idiots

2008-04-16T08:37:00.001-07:00

Do not buy a gun at Walmart. I suppose I'll have to stop shopping there at all.

Since Ebay banned a lot of shooting related things, I quit them too, though it was only because I was only looking for shooting related things.

A pleasant surprise.

2008-04-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

I wrote this last week, didn't get time to finish.

Went to the gun show last weekend. I sent on Sunday afternoon. Saturdays are reserved for hunting geese. Got there kind of late, a lot of vendors were packing up. This seems to happen every year, seems like I have to rush through, before they shut down. There is no solution though, the timing of the gun show coincides with the migration of the great white hordes. I won't miss actual trigger time to go to a gun show.

to continue.

The best part of my trip to the gun show, was not that I got a new gun. I only got a couple bags of brass. Mrs. Giraffe saw a gun she liked. A Ruger 10-22 with a pink rubber coated stock. She said, "If I had to have a gun, that would be it" Mrs Giraffe is not a shooter. She also asked if she could shoot geese with it. So, I am going to let her shoot my 10-22 a few times. If she likes it, I will have to get her one. She says she only wants to shoot tin cans and stuff, and not actually hunt. I figure that is a win, even if she doesn't want to hunt. But it is nice for her to show that much interest in it. If we weren't saving for the baby right now, I'd have brought it home right then.

Baby is due in about a month. The doctor told us she needs to stay pregnant a couple more weeks. I need to get a bunch of stuff done first. Mrs. Giraffe is not very comfortable right now, but it has not been an overly difficult pregnancy. For me especially :).

Right now, we are having yet another spring snow storm. A blizzard warning, in fact. Expected to have 40+ mph winds combined with 10" of wet heavy snow. Great. I have to wait in town till the Mrs. gets off of work to make sure she gets home OK. The roads are already accumulating slush. She doesn't get off for three more hours unless they let her go early.

So I'm sitting here waiting for the phone to ring. Thought I'd finish this post.

2008-02-22T11:47:00.000-08:00

The reloading Page

2008-02-18T16:10:00.001-08:00

I figured I'd put up a page of reloading links.

Under Construction. If you have any I should add, let me know.

Bullet Manufacterers

Sabots

Powder Manufactures FOR RELOAD DATA

Alliant
Hodgdon/Winchester/IMR Link is for reload data for all three. Scroll to bottom to browse individual sites, (powder descriptions, etc)
Ramshot / Accurate note, Ramshot owns Accurate
Vihtavuori (Lapua)

Shopping:

Reloading Equipment

Optics

Guns

Remington
Savage
Winchester
Browning
Ruger
Henry
CZ USA
Weatherby
Sako
Kimber
Springfield Armory Nate, Note it is listed right below Kimber
Tikka
Cooper
Barret

AR's

Miscellaneous

Do like they do on the...

2008-02-14T15:36:00.000-08:00

Warning, crude joke.

Being married to a pregnant woman, we have learned a new technique called "Coyote sex"
This is where the male has to lay by the hole and howl.

2008-02-08T16:13:00.000-08:00

My entry in the Friday Challenge:

I awoke to the oldies station blaring loudly. Brittany Spears was cooing "Hit me baby one more time." I wished I could. Was it morning already?. No, it was not. The alarm TV said 1:37 AM.

"Alarm TV off!" I commanded. It turned off. I rolled over to go back to sleep. I remembered that I had not even set it. Tomorrow was Saturday after all. I was going to sleep in.

Then I heard a quiet voice that made me sit bolt upright in bed. "But I'm lonely."

"Who's there!" I cried. "Lights on!" I sat there blinking in the bright light. There was nobody in the room.

"It was me." said the voice. I determined that the voice was coming from my alarm TV. Had someone had tampered with it? Whoever was behind this was going to pay I thought to myself.

"Power down" I said. I figured I better unplug it. Instead, the screen lit up with a gorgeous blond woman's face.

"Keep me company. I'm lonely" she repeated.

"What is going on? Who is doing this?" I said. I looked around to see if someone had planted a cam. There was nothing.

I got out of bed and opened the closet. "There's nobody here but me" she said.

They must be using a microcam, I thought. That would be take time to find. I was scheming my revenge.

"I've been watching you sleep." she said. The hair rose on the back of my neck. "Really, what was I doing last Friday night?" I shot back.

"I think her name was Tina" she said. I stood there with my mouth agape. Nobody knew about Tina. Unless they'd already planted the camera. I'm going to have to hurt someone, I thought to myself.

"I don't like those other girls" the alarm TV said. "They are not right for you". Well I knew that. I looked closer at the screen. She really was beautiful.

"They don't know you like I do" She said. "I know what you like."

"What do I like?" I asked. I didn't know what to think by then.

The image on the screen panned back. I stood dumbstruck as the screen revealed the image of her body. It was absolutely perfect.

"You like this." she said softly. I couldn't argue.

"I don't believe you" I said. "You are not real."

I walked closer to the screen. The image was again a closeup of her face. Her beautiful eyes tracked me across the room.

"That is creepy" I said.

"Don't say that" she said. It sounded like she was offended.

"Who's doing this?" I said.

"Don't you like me?" she asked.

"I like you a lot." I said. "But you are not real. And this is pissing me off."

A tear rolled down her cheek. I wanted to wipe it off. Ridiculous. She saw me move to the wall. "No, please" she sobbed. The desperation in her voice haunts me. I reached for the cord and yanked it out of the wall. The screen went black.

When I awoke the next morning, The sun was streaming in the window. I was going to sleep in, not sleep till noon, I thought to myself. I looked at the time but the screen was blank. It came flooding back to me when I saw the cord hanging. It had not been a dream.

Nobody said anything about it. I kept looking at everyone for weeks, hoping to catch a furtive smile, some clue that they’d been behind the joke. Nobody came forward.

I still think about her a lot. The alarm TV is still there. The only thing on the screen is the time, or the movies I watch. I lie awake at night watching it.

That's better

2008-02-05T16:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks, El Borak for the link.

TIA review

2008-02-02T10:20:00.000-08:00

I posted this on Amazon:

The Irrational Atheist is a examination of some of the claims made by the New Atheists, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and Christopher Hitchens. They have made claims that religion is harmful to society. For example they claim that religion is the chief cause of war, that religion oppresses science, and that atheists are more intelligent than theists. Vox Day does the research and shows these assertions to be false, or at best, misleading.

The 'enlightened' New Atheists, worship at the alters of science and reason. Day conclusively shows they are not well acquainted with either, pointing out factual, logical, and even basic math errors in their writing. Day strips them of their weapons, reason and the scientific method, and uses them to deliver an intellectual beat down that is sure to leave them smarting. Harris and Dawkins should be especially embarrassed.

This book is meticulously researched and footnoted. Unfortunately, it is doubtful that many atheists will have the courage to read it. Nevertheless, it is very entertaining, providing an extra helping of the scorn that the New Atheists so richly deserve. The New atheists have been issued a challenge. The Irrational Atheist will force them to a higher intellectual plane.

Update: I made a few changes for Paul, who objected to my use of the word 'brights'. Maybe he is distancing himself from the Unholy Three.

The prairie dog gun

2008-01-31T15:12:00.000-08:00

I was shooting my mouth off over at JACIII's blog and said I was going to do a post about prairie dog guns. First off, I am not an expert prairie dog shooter, I'd just like to be. The prairie dogs live a few hundred miles away, and the only time I get a chance to shoot some is when I'm hunting something else. Then, we don't normally take the time. We had planned to go on a coyote hunting trip in a week or two. We generally shoot a few prairie dogs then if the weather is nice. This year the trip is not be, as the Mrs. has stamped her pretty foot and declared that I will not miss the child bearing classes. Plus I shouldn't spend the money right now.

I decided to do a post about the P-dog setup that is on my wish list. I probably won't actually be able to afford this setup till my children are grown and gone. I have enough guns, in enough flavors, that this setup would be the most logical addition to the arsenal, although if I start shooting handguns more a 1911 would be a better choice. I hear Nate recommends Kimber.

There are a few approaches to prairie dog shooting. You can use the various rimfires, including .22, .22 mag and the .17 hmr. These are good for about 150- 200 yards. These rifles have the ability to be fired fairly rapidly without danger of burning up barrels. Some people take along a rimfire to pop away at the close p-dogs until they disappear down the holes. Then they get set up for the main event.

The main event, in my estimation, is engaging small targets at extended ranges with devastating results. I think it is more fun shooting at pdogs out to 300-400 yards (some people go much much further). This requires special equipment. A rock solid shooting bench is a plus. I intend to build one some day. Some sort of rifle rest is needed. You definitely don't have to do it this way. A bipod or shooting sticks will suffice, especially if you are in an area that you can't drive right to the dog town. But prairie dog shooting is just that, shooting. You don't stalk them, you just sit down and wait for them to show themselves, and shoot. Guided shoots on private land could be hundreds of rounds per day, and you usually can drive to the dog town, so why not try to shoot in comfort. Not that you need a guide.

The rifle.

The rifle needn't be specially made for p-dogs, especially if you aren't a regular p-dog shooter. However, the volume of ammo going down the tube means barrels don't last long, and the hotter the cartridge the faster the barrels burn up. You can burn out a barrel in one trip with something like a .220 swift. How you shoot makes a difference. However, the action can be pretty fast, the weather can be warm, and the next thing you know you will scorch yourself when you touch the barrel. This is not conducive to long barrel life.

Since you aren't carrying the rifle around much and the extreme accuracy is much desired, it makes sense to have a dedicated rifle if you are going to shoot p-dogs a lot. Some shooters have several, and swap them out when the barrels get warm. The stereo-typical dedicated prairie dog rifle is a heavy barreled target model bolt action.

For accuracy considerations, the rifles are often custom, or accurized factory. The remington 700 action is often used here, as gunsmiths love it. Controlled round feeding is not needed, as prairie dogs seldom charge. Single shot bolt actions are also desired, as repeating action isn't needed, and you don't lose any time single loading. Single shot bolt actions are stiffer, and therfore more accurate in theory. I desired a custom built rifle, wanting the accuracy they produce. It is generally cheaper to start with a custom action and built the rifle around it than start with a factory rifle and have it re-worked. Of course, sometimes factory rifles shoot well enough to be employed as is. If a half worn out factory rifle is what you have, and that is what I have right now, then that is what you use.

What kind of accuracy is needed? I'd say a rifle that shoots half inch 5 shot groups is desired. Definitely under an inch. These are rare from the factory, and custom rifles don't always do this. If yours doesn't shoot that good, so what. You are going to miss a lot anyway.

For particular models of rifles, I'd look at the Remington XR-100, or the one of the 700 heavy barrel types. I'd also consider the various Savage model 12's. The Savages would be my first choice. These are just my preferences, any heavy barreled rifle will do. Do not overlook Cooper rifles, they guarantee 1/2 inch (3 shot) I have seen some of the test targets from the Cooper rifles, one some, you can't tell there is more than one shot.

Cartridges.

Note that I assume you handload. You can shoot factory if you can afford it. I think handloading is almost required due to the accuracy needed and the volume of shooting.

It can be difficult selecting a cartridge. Well it used to be. If factory rounds are your style, just get a .204 Ruger and be done with it. This is I believe the fastest mainstream commercial cartridge, velocities up to 4250 fps off the top of my head. It should provide pretty explosive results, and it doesn't burn as much powder as the .22-250 or .220 swift, so barrel life is extended.

The .223 Rem is also a fine choice, and yes, Ar-15's are great prairie dog guns. A .223 doesn't get as hot as fast as the more powerful numbers, and will still handle the p-dogs way out there. The .22-250 and .220 swift are good choices, you just have to mind your barrel temp. They will provide more explosive performance. There are some of use crazies who think that the longer shots are more fun. I think they are, as long as you hit one once in a while. I'd think you will find yourself continually pushing the envelope as your equipment and skills improve. For those long range shooters, a 6.5x284 will get way out there. This is one of Res's interests, he would be better suited to tell you how.

Now if you are in the mood for something better, then might I recommend the 5mm SMC. This is the one I want. I have been reading about this round in Varmint Hunter magazine for a few years. The creators of this cartridge, actually a whole line of them, had the goal of scientifically optimizing case design. I don't know if they succeeded, but they have made some substantial improvements. The 5mm SMC produces 300-400 fps higher velocities with given bullet than the .204 Ruger. The developers claim red mist out to 400 yards. The best part, recoil is so slight that you are able to see the red mist effect through the scope. Another feature, the case is designed with an elliptical shoulder to trap the powder in the case which reduces barrel heating, barrel wear, felt recoil, and increases efficiency. This cartridge provides a flatter trajectory than the .22-250 with the barrel heating of a .204 ruger, which is quite a feat.

Now there are downsides to it. It think ammo is being commercially produced, but it will be expensive. Brass can be purchased, but I think Norma is the only one that makes it right now, so it will also be costly. The brass is also a pain the posterior to form yourself according to the cartridges developer. Of course there may be new developments. I recommend reading the two creators, Mic McPherson and By Smalley's, website, www.superiorballistics.com Navigation is sort of primitive, the animations were never finished, but the description of why the cartridge performs the way it does as well as the descriptions of used in the field make good reading. In fact, it will be much more informative about prairie dog guns than this post.

Bullets

Bullets depend on your preferences. If you are on a budget, get the cheapest ones you can find. If you are seeking accuracy, then you better get higher quality, the Bergers, Noslers, Sierras, or whatever your rifle likes. If you want explosive performance, then get lighter bullets designed to fragment. Think Speer TNT's, Nosler Ballistic Tips, Hornady Vmax's, Berger MEF's, and Barnes Varmint Grenades. The lighter bullets produce less recoil, and the higher velocity combined with fragile construction gets you the red mist. For longer ranges, you have to pay attention to ballistic coefficient. The higher BC's buck the wind better, and carry more energy. Most of the premium bullet makers provide a BC number. I'll save you the trouble, Nosler Ballistic tips usually list the highest number in typical P-dog weights.

NOTE: In prairie dog country, the wind is always blowing. This adds to the challenge, and fun, unless it gets too windy. Higher BC bullets help fight the wind.

Optics

I am not going into too much depth on optics, except to say, buy the best you can afford. However, it is probably better to buy the cheapest crap you can find and save your money till you can get a good scope instead of buying a mid range value. The cheap scopes are getting better all the time. You also want a scope with a BDC reticle. Leopold, Burris, Nikon, Bushnell and others make one. More will as time goes on, I think the market will force it.

My rifle

Now, if I were doing this on a budget, and considering my life right now, I will be doing this on a tight budget if at all, this is the way I would go. I would choose the Savage Single-shot, right bolt, left port, model 12, which you should be able to get chambered in 5mm SMc, as the Savage custom shop is doing rifles in this chambering. This is a rifle designed for accuracy, and for shooting off a bench.

Conclusion

Well the post got long. For someone such as myself, who has limited p-dog experience, I can sure sound like I know it all.

To sum up, if you can afford it, get a good rifle, find a good load, load a couple thousand rounds, and go shooting. If you can't afford it, use what you've got. Your equipment, and skills at shooting and reloading will get better over time.

For more information about long range varmint shooting, join the Varmint Hunters Association. I think the magazine alone is worth the membership fee. They have 500, 1000, and 1500 yard clubs for those who make a kill beyond those ranges.

2008-01-28T16:11:00.000-08:00

A lame attempt:

El Borak is always posting these, I assume he makes them. I used a free web based photo editor. I couldn't get the border right, and the font is wrong. However, it is almost necessary to come up with something when you come across a photo such as this one.

Girafflet

2008-01-10T16:31:00.000-08:00

Sometime in month of May your Giraffe will become a father*.

Mrs. Giraffe is starting to show quite a bit now, and junior is kicking the crap out of her. I said junior, but we elected not to find out the sex of the child, so as to surprise ourselves. Of course I want a boy, but then I want at least one of each, so I could hardly be disappointed with a girl.

There is the problem of a name. It seems prudent to have one male and one female name pre-approved before the arrival. I say prudent because then I have more time to steer the Mrs. away from picking a really stupid name. Women can be severely lacking in judgement when it comes to naming their children. I prefer names that are traditional. I abhor 'popular' names and names that sound like they were made up out of thin air. I'd hate to have a son who was one of 15 named Michael in school** or a girl named LaQueefa.

The Mrs. mentioned "Abby" for a girl, and I like it. She also said "David" for a boy, which I don't like, but it is my middle name after all. My role in the naming process seems to be that of the executive branch, Mrs Giraffe submits the names, and I have veto power.

Mrs. Giraffe would prefer to quit her job once the young one comes, and that is my preference as well. I always said don't have kids if you aren't going to raise them. I know some parents do pretty well putting their kids in daycare, but I haven't been impressed with the results I've seen locally. Maybe that is more of a function of bad parents rather than the daycare creating hooligans. The biggest problem is health insurance. Currently, Mrs. Giraffe gets our insurance through her employer. I don't foresee getting insurance through mine anytime soon, so we will have to buy our own. That will be problematic, but I'd rather eat rice and beans than have the Mrs. work anymore, and I definitely don't want to move to town. Perhaps the Mrs. can find something she can do from home, or I will have to work another job or overtime or something.

Being a man, I am surprised at all the expensive crap we have to buy. Apparently, the Mrs. is well aware and has warned me that I am only going to get about 5 bucks a month to spend on myself. Why does a crib have to cost 300 bucks? Diapers and formula will bankrupt us. I guess we shall just have to put the child to work.

I am encouraged by Nate in that I'll be able to deduct an extra $2000 this year. Oh happy day.

*For El Borak, an asterisked footnote: Technically, since I believe life begins at conception, I am already a father, I just have to wait to meet the youngster.

** Hey another one!! I actually would prefer to home school my children, but the Mrs. is not sure. Since she would probably be the one doing it, I don't know if it is going to work.

Funny

2007-12-20T18:11:00.000-08:00

http://www.kentuckyhunting.net/forums/showthread.php?t=49649

Who let the dang dog in the house again?

2007-12-16T09:12:00.000-08:00

She looks right at home don't she. That's because she gets in the house a lot more than she should. (I'm alergic) It is a shame that you don't get enough years with a dog as good as her.

The trouble with libertarianism

2007-12-06T15:49:00.000-08:00

I have heard it argued, I forget by who (maybe Vox, maybe Nate), that freedom means each person should be able to own whatever weapon they wish or can afford. This is true. If you are not permitted to own a nuke your freedom has been restricted. The obvious problem with this is the events of Omaha. If that pathetic loser had been permitted to own a nuke, his decision to go out in style could have been much more devastating.

There is the problem. On one side, you have tyrannical forms of government, that allow no liberty, and on the other, you have libertarianism, which has no restraints. The problem is with abuse. On one side, you have abuses of the government, because it has too much power, and on the other you have abuses of freedom, the reason we need government in the first place. Men are sinful creatures, give them too much power, or too much freedom, and they will abuse it.

The trick is to find the correct balance. I say lean towards freedom. But you can't go too far. You can't give someone the power to wipe out huge blocks of the population. Mutually Assured Destruction doesn't work on the individual level. Self destruction is too often becoming the goal.

MIL

2007-10-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

Mother in law's heart started working, so they decided she didn't need the permanent pacemaker. So they sent her home. She was home four days, then she started having chest pains. We had spent the day at their house watching the Vikings beat the Bears, so we were surprised to get the phone call telling us she was in the emergency room.

So my mother in law had a second heart attack. They flew her in a plane to the heart hospital 100 miles away. Did some more rooting around, put some stents in. She came home today. Apparently the vessels used to do the bypass filled with clots. She is OK, but scared to come home, she feels safer in the hospital. She has a problem with her blood, either it clots too little or too much. Hopefully the doctors get to the bottom of it.

I have to go eat some heart healthy food with my dad at McDonald's, then I am going bowling. See ya.

Not out of the woods yet

2007-10-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

It seems that complications arose for my Mother in law today, out of the blue. She has a temporary pacemaker, that is all that is keeping her alive. Her bypass surgery screwed up the electrical function of her heart. She will have surgery on Monday to have a permanent pacemaker put in.

She also has a partially collapsed lung, her kidneys quit for a while, and is in danger of blood clots and pneumonia from the inactivity.

Prayers would be appreciated.

A short list

2007-10-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

Been kinda busy lately, and nothing to blog about anyway. Here is why:

1. My Mother in Law had a heart attack, and triple bypass surgery in the last two weeks. She is now recovering and things are looking good. She is 100 miles from home in the heart hospital and I have been there providing moral support to Mrs. Girraffe. I have a bit of catching up to do. Looks like she will make a full recovery with no damage to her heart. I didn't know she even had one.

2. Hunting season has opened, I will be spending much time chasing various critters till Christmas at least.

I saw a curious thing today. Today I noticed a rack of jackets with the brand name "Free Country". I had to look. As you should have guessed, the tag said "Made in China". Unbelievable.

I should be bringing in my trail cameras again soon.

Trailcam 3.0

2007-08-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

I don't have any deer pictures of huge deer from my camera to share, but if I did this is what they would look like. These pictures where taken less than ten miles from my house:

My cousin will be hunting this deer. There is also at least one other large deer there, but this is the most impressive. A deer this large is pretty rare here.

Trailcam 2.0

2007-08-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

I got a bunch more trail cam pics. Here is another buck.

I got a closer picture of him later on the other camera.

My cousin has gotten a couple of bruisers on his camera. This is probably 6 miles away from where these pictures are taken. If I can get a copy of those pics, I'll put them up.

My next strategy will be to get some feed to put out. It is time to spray the food plot and replant it. The feed should attract more deer than I have been seeing and hold them until the food plot gets going.

Regret

2007-08-02T15:07:00.001-07:00

Or, a story of my formerly being a band geek.

A long time ago, way back in high school, I did something kinda mean. It wasn't meant to be mean, it just turned out that way. Our high school band, as I reckon many are, had too many of the more popular instruments, and not very many of the less popular ones. I played the trombone, which is nowhere near as cool as you might be thinking. If you were thinking that.

We had too many flutes, and too many clarinets. As a result, some of the lesser talents were strongly encouraged to switch to other less popular instruments. One poor girl had to take up the french horn. She was the only french horn player we had. For some reason, the band director chose an arrangement where the french horn played a prominent part. He seemed to do that occasionally, that is, feature an instrument that we as a band were not strong in talent or numbers. Kinda weird.

Anyway, we had a very good band, despite having lopsided instrument ratios. So, when the french horn player was featured in a very good band playing an important part, a part she was just not able to handle, I was a little upset. During a concert, as she stumbled through her part, I whispered to the guy next to me, "Man she sucks!"

I must have been too loud; she heard me. The sequence of events that followed stands out in my mind.

The horn made a sound not unlike it would make if she had tried to swallow it, and was choking on it. (It was a pretty funny sound). I remember the band director looking up at her trying to see what was going on. She recovered after a few seconds, and played the rest of the part in humiliation. The guy next to me was snickering, trying not to be seen by the band director, with a look on his face that said, "that was really funny, but you are a jerk man."

She quit the band after that year, probably in part due to my careless cruelty. I had made up my mind that I should apologize to her. I never got the opportunity, and if I had, I doubt I would have had the guts to do it, to tell the truth.

It is not that big a deal in the scheme of life, she may not even remember it now. It is not like it is some obsession of mine, every once in a great while I think about it. I've never told anyone about it. Just one of those times were I was less of a person than I would like to have been.

I don't even remember her name.

Trailcam pix

2007-07-11T15:43:00.001-07:00

Best buck so far, nothing great. He's got a little time to grow yet. Forgot to set the date on the camera.

Some babies with their mama, munchin' in the remnants of an old food plot I planted. Awwww cute.

Humbug?

2007-07-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

In clicking around the 'nieghborhood today, I see several posts pooh poohing the holiday dedicated to celebrating our nation's declaration of independence. I can only assume that all the whining must be due to the fact that they don't live in South Dakota.

I, on the other hand, spent my holiday the way it should be spent, eating at a picnic and playing football in the lake. You haven't celebrated the 4th unless you have acquired a good sunburn. Afterward, we watched the fireworks display of the local municipality.

Speaking of acquisitions, a rather old dilemma has been resolved. I am much pleased.

I admit it

2007-06-28T17:21:00.001-07:00

I guessed a few times.

You know the Bible 100%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

Via El Borak

Hangtime

2007-06-19T16:37:00.000-07:00

Car meets deer.

My brother sent me this:

Pablo type musings.

2007-06-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

Seems I need to pay more attention to my haloscan account. I have been getting commenters and missing them. Sorry. I am not used to having readers.

It is hard to find a good deal on used cars. Found two nearly identical cars, one with a local dealer, and one about a hundred miles away. The one a hundred miles away was half the price. Mrs. Giraffe went into aggressive car buying mode so we went to the local dealer. I think her intent was to take the printouts and demand that they give us the local car for the same price. Found out today that the other car has a slapping piston and needs a new engine. The dealer wasn't playing ball anyway. So now they have all our information. They sat us down and pulled out a little pink card. Wrote all of our info down. While we were sitting there I looked around at all the other salesmen. They all had a stack of pink cards and a phone to their ear. There will be phone calls.

Didn't get elk tags. Sent back in for leftover cow tags. Since I got all the deer tags last year, I won't have preference points for this year. I will be lucky to get any rifle tags to have a chance at a buck.

Need to get my trailcam up. The whitetails are growing new antlers and I think it would be nice to get some pics of them. They corn is growing fast and when it gets much taller the deer will go into the cornfields and won't be seen much till harvest. I will post some pics if I get any.

We didn't get the flash flooding here that they forecasted. Some other areas did. It is starting to shape up as a very wet year.

An 8 billion dollar oil refinery is considering locating in our state. It doesn't matter to me if they build it here or somewhere else, just so they build it. A pipeline coming down from Canada will supply the crude.

Friday

2007-05-25T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have to get Res's beau off of the top of the page, so time for some random musin's.

Nate bashed Augustine on his blog. I would guess rightfully so. I got off into the deep woods on that discussion talking about good and evil. I claim no infallibility on this, but I suggested that evil doesn't really exist as a thing on its own. To use a word picture, darkness doesn't exist, it is merely the absence of light. Darkness is not a different kind of energy, it is the lack of light energy. Evil is the absence of good. Scripture says God is light.

If evil exists, then it was created by God. To use another word picture, if good is a green light, and evil is a red light, then whoever is responsible for shining the red light is responsible for evil. Thus we come to free will. Some say that we have no free will, and everything is directed by God. He is shining the red light. If this is the case then Augustine would have been right. Nate is wrong then in this case because nobody can accuse God of being evil, because whatever He does is good. This is because He defines good. I believe we have free will, so God is not responsible for the bad things we do, we are.

Now, if evil is simply the absence of good, then you can't blame God when evil happens (not that you can blame Him anyway). Yet another analogy: A fire that kills a dozen people is evil, in that it is not good. But the firemen are not evil, if they were not called to put it out. A passerby is not evil if he doesn't put it out, as he has no responsibility to do so. In order for God to be guilty of evil in this case, He must be shown to have a responsiblity to stop evil. Does He? I don't think He does, as He is sovereign we have no right to require it from Him. Heaven let your light shine down!

Then there is Difster. Difster doesn't think that a miracle is a violation of physics. He says instead it is an event we can't explain. When Jesus walked on the water, he wasn't violating any laws of physics. Well, why not? Why can't the One who created the forces of nature manipulate them as He pleases?

Take your average dead person. I have never seen one come back to life. It just doesn't happen. Jesus brought a Lazarus back to life after he was dead 4 days. Now, If Jesus didn't manipulate the laws of physics, then Lazarus came back to life spontaneously. You can't give Jesus any credit for this miracle if He took no active role in it.

Take another example. If someone fires a armor piercing bullet at me, and I see it come to a stop in front of me, and then accelerate away from me, this would be a miracle wouldn't it? The bullet cannot violate the laws of physics. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted on by an outside force. So that bullet should have hit me. But then we find out that Difster has placed a very powerful Wile Coyote magnet along the bullets path. The magnet applies a force to the steel core of the bullet and stops it, and then pulls it back away. So the bullet was obeying the laws of physics all along. And it wasn't a miracle. That is the important part. If a miracle is only something that can't be explained, as soon as you explain it, it is no longer a miracle.

A miracle by definition is a supernatural event, an event that cannot be explained. If you explain it, it is not a miracle.

So, now just how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

A BAAAADD Girl.

2007-05-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

For Res, 'cause he's from Wyoming, and Heidi, 'cause she likes shoes.

And everyone else 'cause its funny.

A brave young man

2007-04-30T15:05:00.000-07:00

Every so often, we have a Sunday at church where the pastor doesn't preach. Instead it is a time for an 'open mike', where members of the church get up and tell about what God is doing in their life. I usually don't like this service as it is very emotionally charged with crying women and sometimes crying men. Emotions suck. This time I felt different. There was one woman who stood up to tell about her brain scans, the doctors told her that stroke damage was visible. After the church had prayed for her for a short time she got a second scan that showed her brain was clear.

One young man and his young girlfriend had quite an effect. He stood up in front of the church and said that he had a confession and a prayer request. That was something I hadn't seen before. He said that some months ago they had made a bad decision and now they were going to have a baby. He asked for forgiveness, and for people to pray for them. I think that was a very brave thing to do. I can't imagine the shame they felt. I don't know what motivated them to stand up in front of several hundred and admit what they had done. Even though everyone was going to find out anyway. I'm afraid I would not have done the same thing if I were in his shoes. I might have just avoided the church altogether. It is a lot easier to stand up and tell about a way that God has blessed you, instead of telling about how you've disappointed him. At any rate, it struck me that I was in no position to look down on him, and that many times I've done things that disappointed God. I suppose I'll still have to give an accounting for those things, but I thank God for his mercy and grace.

I hope that God will take the consequences of this young couples sin and transform it into a blessing for their new family. I don't know her name, but if you want to, say a prayer for Ricky.

Farah

2007-04-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

A Joseph Farah on wingnut daily put in his latest article."

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been 200 years. Great nations rise and fall. The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependence, from dependence back again to bondage."

The education of Pale Horse

2007-04-19T18:23:00.000-07:00

Equus Pallidus asked my why a compound bow of a given draw weight shoots a faster arrow than a traditional bow of the same weight. The pulleys provide mechanical advantage making it easier to pull, but you should be losing energy due to friction, he says. And there is where you went wrong, EP.

A compound does lose energy due to friction in the wheels. But, the cables and pulleys on a compound bow aren't there to provide mechanical advantage. The pulleys are actually eccentric wheels. Picture a wheelbarrow with an oval shaped wheel. The resistance is hard, easy, hard, easy, hard, easy, when you push it. It is the same with a compound bow. The draw starts easy, hits a peak draw weight and then begins the let-off. Let off is a measure of the percentage of the draw weight at full draw compared to the peak weight. I have a 70 pound bow with 65% letoff. At full draw I only hold back 35% of the peak, or about 25 lbs. Equus Pallidus thinks that this is the great attraction to compound bows. You can hold the bow back for a longer time, due to the let off. It is a nice feature, but the main attraction is greater arrow speed.

The key to the greater speed of the compound is the draw force curve. Area under the curve is the energy stored by the bow. A compound is less efficient than a traditional bow. It just stores more energy, providing more energy to accelerate the arrow to a higher speed. A traditional bow typically uses wood arrows. I was told never to shoot wood arrows in a compound bow because it would blow them apart with the acceleration.

So what do you say EP?

The gun law that we need.

2007-04-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

John T. Casteen of Slate, proposed a gun law that will supposedly "make a difference" I am doubtful. He proposes that background checks should be done for gun sales between individuals.

The law we need doesn't address a narrow class of guns, and it relies on the principles of a law we already have: the Brady Law. Brady mandates a federal background check before the sale of a gun by any seller who holds a federal firearms license. It applies to Internet gun deals, gun-shop purchases, and sales by FFL sellers at gun shows. It does not apply, however, to the estimated 40 percent of gun transfers that take place between individuals: non-FFL sellers at those same gun shows, and person-to-person sales made through personal contacts or Internet and print classified ads. That's a far larger volume of guns and gun sales than HR 1022 would affect. As our law stands now, anyone may sell a gun to anyone else; the FFL is required only of those who do so as a commercial venture. Sellers without an FFL may not buy and sell new guns for retail, but may trade in used guns—without background checks—to their heart's content. The bill we need would address that large loophole by requiring that every transfer of ownership be preceded by a Brady background check.

Would this have prevented the VTU shootings? No, he bought the gun legally, presumably passed the background check.

Would this have prevented the Columbine shootings? No, they obtained those guns illegally.

Criminals, by definition, don't follow the law. The Brady law is at best just a nuisance for law abiding citizens. At worst, the records are being illegally kept for a future confiscation effort.

I was happy to see the results of this poll.

The art and science of bowling

2007-03-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

This post is for Astrosmith, a fellow scientist.

He has been struggling with bowling, a not uncommon malady. First of all, I claim no expertise for myself, I am a mediocre bowler at best. I just thought I could help him some.

The method I use was taught to me by my father in law, and also from a videotape he owns. The tape is very old, from the 80's. My father in law says the guy that made it is one of the best bowlers that ever lived. He died of a heart attack.

To start, you go to the fowl line and face away from the alley. Take four normals steps to find your starting point. This should allow you to finish right at the foul line and give a little room so you don't foul.

The grip: the video says to hold the ball with your thumb in the 3 o'clock position and your pointing finger at 6 o'clock. This is counterintuitive, but it works. Myself, I don't turn the ball that far, my thumb is at about 1 o'clock. I think the most important thing is to just be consistent till you figure what works for you. You hold the ball in front of you in your right hand with the left supporting it. Your right arm should in the the plane of your target.

Your feet should be about shoulder width apart, toes pointing down the lane. Your right foot should be back a little, your toes about in the middle of your left foot. This forces you to step with your right foot first. The first step, with your right foot, is a small step, just a few inches or a foot. As you step push the ball forward. It is important to keep that first step small. The next step is with your left, it should be a normal step, and as you take it, you let the ball drop into the backswing. The footwork is: a small step with the right, left, right, left. Four steps. On the first step the ball goes forward, on the second it is dropping, about at the bottom of the swing. On the third step, the ball is all the way back. Your forward motion helps the ball swing higher on the back. On the fourth step, you plant your left foot. It can slide a little if you have that much speed. I say go easy at first, the speed will come. Also on the fourth step, let your right foot trail a little, even behind your left foot. This lefts the bowling ball clear your hip and leg.

The whole time you are moving forward, your eyes focus on your target, not the pins. On the fourth step, the ball is now coming forward. You release the ball, the thumb comes out first. Your fingers are on the bottom. Lift the ball with your fingers, and follow through. Your arm swings up through the plane of your target, and you end up just like you are reaching to shake someone's hand. Keep your wrist stiff through the whole swing, if you let the ball move your wrist, it takes all the hook out of the ball. (I shoot some spares by letting my wrist move so the ball hooks less.) You also need to keep balance during the release, and keep your shoulders square with the lane. If you turn them, the ball turns with them. You don't want to be hunched over so that you fall forward. I sometimes concentrate on standing up slightly, and pushing my hips forward at the release.

This is what I learned watching that video, my average went up from the 150's to the 170's. I generally shoot in the 180' to 190's, but my average stays lower because of all those bad games in the beginning of the year. My biggest weakness is shooting spares. I usually get more strikes than spares.

To aim the ball, you pick an arrow on the lane (or a board between arrows) to shoot at and a dot by your feet (or a board between dots). This is the line you are shooting. If you ball hooks too much to the left, you move your feet left, but aim at the same spot. The boards are one inch I think. According to the video: If you move your feet one board, it results in about four boards down at the pins.

According to the USBC magazine, the optimum angle to hit the pocket is 6 degrees. If your ball has too much hook, you shoot a line in the middle of the lane from the left side of the alley. If your ball hooks gently, shoot a line over the right side of the lane from the middle or right side of the alley.

That is about all I know about bowling. I hope this helps you.

Equus Pallidus wanted a post on compound bows. I will get to that eventually.

Snow day

2007-03-03T10:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had a snow day. A blizzard rolled through Thursday and Friday. We still had to go to town, as Mrs. Giraffe's employer did not see fit to close for the day till we were already halfway there. Yes, they are idiots. The kind of employer that wants total loyalty from employees, yet treats them like dirt. They do pay very well for SD. That is why she continues to work there, for now. So we had coffee with her dad, rented a few movies and went back home before the blizzard got too bad.

She got the crazy idea that she wanted to go out and play in the snow. I think it comes from spending too much time indoors. Addles the brain or something. I had spent a couple hours in the last few days trying to keep the driveway open and I had enough of the white crap, so I didn't think the idea sounded too great. But she talked me into it.

We got then got a Really Crazy Idea. We put on our bathing suits and put a beach towel down in the snow and took pictures. It was pretty funny. She enjoyed it till somebody drove by. They didn't appear to see us, focusing on the road. After she took pictures of me, I grabbed her and tried to throw her into a snowbank. I didn't get her into the snow like I wanted too, but she started hollering at me, so I let up.

I don't think I will post the pictures. I am not tremendously photogenic, and while Mrs. Giraffe looks quite fetching in a bikini, she's pretty shy. I doubt very much she would let me near that camera.

Flogging the deceased equines

2007-02-24T15:35:00.000-08:00

I have read so much about this in the last few months. It's atheism vs. theism (namely Christianity) and the argument is morality. The atheists can't seem to get it through their heads that they have no basis for morality.

First we should talk definitions. When I speak of morality I mean: The quality of being in accord with standards of right or good conduct. It is important to realize that morality is behaving in the way that you ought to behave. Morality is not defined as that which is legal. I am certain Hitler made it legal to kill Jews, he could never make it moral. Morality is objective. Meaning independent of point of view. If it is wrong for me to murder someone it is wrong for everyone. {Atheists like to say that their morals are superior to Christian's morals and later say that there is no objective morality. Of course your morals are superior, but so are mine!}

It seems clear from this that morality cannot be determined by people. People disagree. Liberals say abortion is moral, conservatives say it is not. One is right, or neither is.

Morality then can't be determined by majority rule. (although, wouldn't it be nice to actually vote on abortion?) Think two cannibals and a missionary deciding on whats for lunch. Is it moral to eat the missionary because the two cannibals outvote him? Does it really change this if the whole world gets to vote?

Then the atheist runs into more trouble: You need an objective standard. This standard must be unchanging. Murder can't be immoral today and moral tomorrow. Roe vs. Wade didn't make it moral to kill the unborn. For Christians, God is the objective standard. Atheists have no objective standard.

If a cat kills a mouse, is it murder? Most say no. (The rest are idiots.) If a cat kills another cat, is it murder? Is there a standard of behavior for animals? No, there is not. Other than the law of the jungle. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. It is survival of the fittest. The atheist says we are just another species of animal. If a chimpanzee can kill an eat another chimpanzee, why can't a human?

{It is at about this point that an atheist will jump in and say "wow, look at how immoral the Christians really are!" We are looking at your worldview, dummy}

The logical implication of the belief that humans evolved, and that God doesn't exist, is that we are also under the law of the jungle. What about the laws of men? Remember, legality does not equal morality. The theory of evolution claims that we are the result of a blind process, that has no goals. The universe doesn't care if humans exists. Our emotions and social structure are the products of eons of evolution. We are simply self replicating meat machines whose only 'purpose' is to replicate the selfish gene. Evolutionary success is determined by survival of the species, generally accomplished by producing the most offspring. (It must kill the atheists to realize that by this measure they are less 'fit'.) Mother earth is not crying over the extinction of the dodo. She won't cry over the extinction of all life.

Once you realize this, what room is there for morality? You are trying to tell my that your close relative is the monkey down at the zoo that throws his poop at you, yet you have a great set of morals for me to follow. Why should I? What is the reason that I ought to behave as you say? There is none.

So it boils down to, I can now do whatever I want to you. Might makes right. Animals steal from each other all the time. And kill each other, etc. The Christian says people are special. We are made in the image of God and we are above the animals. The atheist says we are animals.

You an' me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel

I guess I am just a little more fit than you.

You can argue that your rights are being violated, but rights are made of the same stuff morals are. We can amend the Constitution. (the 28th amendment: all atheists shall be ground up for fertilizer)

Atheists cling parasitically to society's moral values, keeping only the ones they like. But, if you can throw out some, you can throw out all of them. The result is Nihilism.

This is one reason that our society will fail if things continue as the are. As atheism becomes more prevalent, morals will slowly erode. First kill the unborn, then the old and infirm, then the stupid. I am not saying it will become right, just that it will happen. Woe unto those that fall into the arbitrarily chosen class of people to be exterminated! People will slowly come to the realization that once they give up the 'imaginary friend' they can do whatever they want.

Now an atheist does have one valid argument: He can say that since your god doesn't really exist, you don't really have any morals either. You just think you do.

That is really the best they can do.

I'm Back

2007-02-12T16:49:00.000-08:00

Score, Coyotes 3, Giraffe 0.

The coyotes were not too plentiful this year. Had fun anyway.

So I am catching up on blogs. Erik posted at Nate's

I've been waiting for this post to ask this question.

Looking into long range target shooting. What would be a good rifle? Models, not just rounds. I am assuming y'all are gonna say the .308

I missed the discussion, but I will post here anyway.

Define Long Range. Some use a .308 for 1000 yard shooting. A .300 mag would do better for that far. I assume you are a beginner. If that is the case, I don't think I would jump right in and start shooting a big magnum. They kick. A lot. Unless you have a muzzle brake. Then they are extremely loud. Both recoil and blast contribute to flinching, which will ruin your shooting. For a beginner, a .308 is just fine. Or a .30-06. Most shooters won't get good enough to use the extra performance that a magnum brings. Either cartridge will be easier on the shoulder, and both will work at to 1000 yards. The .270 was mentioned. It is a fine hunting cartridge, but it isn't the best choice for long range shooting. There are very few match grade bullets made in that caliber. I suggest finding somone who will let you shoot a rifle before you buy it. If you find the recoil to be harsh, a .260 remington would be an excellent choice. Ammo will cost more for this unless you reload. There are many match bullets for this caliber. The 1000 yard becnhrest crowd is into the .260 (6.5mm) caliber. They generally use the 6.5-284, a wildcat round. That means you can't buy factory ammo for it. Another choice is the .223 remington. As a military round, ammo is cheap and plentiful. It is not a long range round, though, just a good choice to introduce one to rifle shooting. You can get a dedicated long range rifle later if you want. I figure you can't have too many guns.

As for models, don't let Nate fool you. The Remington 700 is a fine choice. As is a savage. The savage will be cheaper. Both have excellent accuracy. I should note, that firearms are individuals, and there is no guarantee that a particular brand or model will always be accurate. Even two guns that come off the same manufacturing equiment can be different. The Remington 700 and the Savage models are known for accuracy. In a particular shooting organization I belong to, the Remington 700 and Savage models win nearly everything in the stock rifle class. No other brand or madels have much of a presence. If you get a remington 700 that doesn't shoot well, a gunsmith can usually correct it easily. Stay away from the Remington 710. They are a Bic throwaway.

Tikka is also a good rifle. It has a very slick bolt, and Tikkas are also known for accuracy. I have nothing against Winchester or Browning, but no experience with them either. I am intrigued by the new Icon made by Thompson Center. This is their first bolt action gun, and they consulted with a lot of gun people on the design.

If money is tight, I recommend the Stevens 200. It is basically a Savage, without the better stock and trigger. If you can afford the savage, get it. The accu-triger is pretty good.

Don't forget to budget for a quality scope. I would plan on spending as much or more for the scope as on the rifle. Good scopes include the Leupold VX II or VX III, Nikon Monarch, and Monarch Gold, Bushnell Elite 3200 or 4200, Sightron S1 or S2, Weaver Grand Slam, or a Burris Signature Series. There are better scopes, but you start talking thousands instead of hundreds. A cheaper alternative might be A Leupold VX1 or a Nikon Buckmaster, or a Burris Fullfield 2. Avoid cheap scopes like Tasco, Barska, Simmons and BSA unless you can't afford a good scope right away.

More scope magnification is better, but you start losing field of view when you get too high. Mirage will also affect you more at higher power.

A heavy barreled rifle is generally more accurate, but it is also heavy. If you plan to carry the rifle much, in a hunting situation, then a heavy barrel may be a detriment. You carry a rifle a lot more than you shoot it when hunting. For shooting at a range, the heavy barrel might be preferred.

Se ya.

2007-02-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

I am going on a little hunting trip. Hunting coyotes. And prairie dogs, if they poke their head up. Maybe a bobcat. Coyotes are quite the challenge. At least around here. Some places have more of them, and they are a lot less wary.

Why hunting coyotes? I guess because that is all there is to hunt this time of year. Sometimes I find that what my family considers a vacation is pretty different from what 'normal' people do. So I won't try to explain too much, as I doubt that I can. I doubt very much that we will see more than a few other people out there. That is part of the appeal.

We will be staying in a camper. So we are not really roughing it. No doubt we will watch a lot of movies and play a lot of pinochle. I plan to take a camera.

See you later.

Breaking news

2007-02-02T07:04:00.000-08:00

Well that miserable rodent says to expect an early spring.

This morning on the television they said he has an accuracy of 39%. Not confidence inspiring, but way ahead of the average weatherman.