Tuesday, December 30, 2008
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
_________ ___________________________________ ________________________
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with over sized tires? __Yes __No
C. A water bed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want lto be shot would be:
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
C: A woman's place is in the:
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Mother's Sig nature & Father's Signature
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi or State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six months for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)
To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating, as they appear below:
Daddy's Rules for Dating
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) :
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them..
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill y ou. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.Please do not do this. The only information I require from you, [besides the application above] is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear,and more than an hour goes by, do n ot sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot bellied, balding, middle-aged,dimwitted has-been fart. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing,merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and fifty-five wooded acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early,then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Have a good time!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas at the inlaws. Such a pleasant misery. Good food, badly behaved kids and pets, and cat allergies. Great fun.
Today, I am off to try hunting coyotes with my brother. Maybe burn off some of those cookies.
I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Start thinking up your new years resolutions.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sometimes you get an email that is true:
A Lady Named Irena - a true story
There recently was a death of a 98 year old lady named Irena.
During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist.
She had an ulterior motive...
She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German).
Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of her tool box she carried, and she carried in the back of her truck a Burlap sack, (for larger kids).
She also had a dog in the back, that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in, and out of the ghetto.
The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog, and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.
During her time and course of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants.
She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, and arms, and beat her severely.
Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out, and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard.
After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it, and reunited the family.
Most of course had been gassed.
Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes, or adopted.
Last year Irena was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize....
. . . . . . . Al Gore won, for doing a slide show on Global Warming.
Monday, July 07, 2008
My history with fireworks:
When I was a kid, my father was Vermont State Champion trapshooter in the handicapped division. He paid me 25 cents for each box of 12-guage shells I reloaded for him, so we had gobs of Hercules Red-Dot shotgun powder around the house, as well as a subscription to The Shotgun News. I saw an ad in the Shotgun News for empty Mark II Pineapple grenade casings, so, being a kid, I ordered one.
It arrived, I filled it with Red-Dot, put in a model rocket fuse and sealed the opening with candle wax (melted in a pot on Mom's stove...I'm not using a lit candle because even though I'm really stupid, I'm not friggin' suicidal!).
I bury the grenade in Mom's tomato garden next door to our neighbors' house, a pair of elderly and wonderful French-Canadians. I light the fuse and run like Jessie Owens.
Mom no longer has any tomatoes, there's a crater big enough to bury our dog in the garden, Mr. Rouleau dashes outside his house screaming expletives in French and I take off into the woods to develop my skills in unassisted living for two days before returning home to one seriously p*ssed-off mother and a father who, when he learned of the calamity, wet himself.
Fireworks, people. Let the pros handle them.
My father-in law watched a yukon burn up after a kid inside it somehow got his sack of fireworks ignited. The car filled up with smoke and one kid got seriously burned because he couldn't find his way out.
A guy got killed near here over the weekend making a sparkler bomb.
I don't get a big kick out of fireworks so much any more. Maybe when my kid(s) get older. Anyways, have fun, be careful, and if you have a funny story, by all means share it.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
the good: our services are suddenly in demand again. Which is good. Hard for the boss to pay us with no money coming in. It was a long winter.
The bad: a co-worker's wife lost her fight with cancer, then he had a heart attack a week later. So we are short an important piece, and who knows when he will be back (though he is doing well, considering). Stressful situation for his family.
The boss's wife had a heart attack last fall. She is doing well too, but rehab and appointments take him away a lot too. A lot more responsiblity is falling on me, so I guess I ought to quite feeling sorry for myself (i have it good, after all) and put the shoulder to the wheel.
At home, baby Giraffe is making his presence felt though he/she hasn't arrived yet. Mrs. giraffe has been put on bedrest due to swelling. She is not due till mid May, but I don't think it will take that long. The doctor was talking about inducement. There is no immediate concern, but with the swelling and her blood pressure starting to rise, I think the doctor wants to get the baby out as soon as it is safe.
We had a bet. She thought the baby would come before the end of April, I thought in May. With a due date well into May I figured it was a sure thing. I thought I lost the bet last night but the contractions lessened and we were sent home. It is difficult, having not gone through this before, to know what is labor and what is the warm up.
Of course, we are not ready. I put the crib together, but it was a cheap piece of junk and it was broken in two places. So we are going to get our money back and we bought a better quality used one in to replace it. At lunch today, she said she didn't know if she was ready to take care of a baby. I don't think you ever are. But it will be a good thing. I have to figure out the car seat. All of the Mrs's. friends say they take forever to install.
Friday, we had our second spring blizzard, worse than the first. We didn't try to go home this time. Which was a good idea, the road ditches were full of vehicles the next day. We got just shy of 20 inches of snow, and the snowblower broke, so we are just going to have to wait for it to melt. If Algore showed up talking about global warming they would not find his body till the snow melted. Spring has been slow in arriving about the last five years in a row. Pretty unusual to get snow this late to say the least. I was actually thinking it was time to mow the lawn the first time. Odd to have to wait for the snow to melt so you can mow.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Went to the gun show last weekend. I sent on Sunday afternoon. Saturdays are reserved for hunting geese. Got there kind of late, a lot of vendors were packing up. This seems to happen every year, seems like I have to rush through, before they shut down. There is no solution though, the timing of the gun show coincides with the migration of the great white hordes. I won't miss actual trigger time to go to a gun show.
The best part of my trip to the gun show, was not that I got a new gun. I only got a couple bags of brass. Mrs. Giraffe saw a gun she liked. A Ruger 10-22 with a pink rubber coated stock. She said, "If I had to have a gun, that would be it" Mrs Giraffe is not a shooter. She also asked if she could shoot geese with it. So, I am going to let her shoot my 10-22 a few times. If she likes it, I will have to get her one. She says she only wants to shoot tin cans and stuff, and not actually hunt. I figure that is a win, even if she doesn't want to hunt. But it is nice for her to show that much interest in it. If we weren't saving for the baby right now, I'd have brought it home right then.
Baby is due in about a month. The doctor told us she needs to stay pregnant a couple more weeks. I need to get a bunch of stuff done first. Mrs. Giraffe is not very comfortable right now, but it has not been an overly difficult pregnancy. For me especially :).
Right now, we are having yet another spring snow storm. A blizzard warning, in fact. Expected to have 40+ mph winds combined with 10" of wet heavy snow. Great. I have to wait in town till the Mrs. gets off of work to make sure she gets home OK. The roads are already accumulating slush. She doesn't get off for three more hours unless they let her go early.
So I'm sitting here waiting for the phone to ring. Thought I'd finish this post.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Under Construction. If you have any I should add, let me know.
Powder Manufactures FOR RELOAD DATA
- Hodgdon/Winchester/IMR Link is for reload data for all three. Scroll to bottom to browse individual sites, (powder descriptions, etc)
- Ramshot / Accurate note, Ramshot owns Accurate
- Vihtavuori (Lapua)
- Horus Vision
- US Optics
- Newcon - Rangefinders, Night Vision
- CZ USA
- Springfield Armory Nate, Note it is listed right below Kimber
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
I awoke to the oldies station blaring loudly. Brittany Spears was cooing "Hit me baby one more time." I wished I could. Was it morning already?. No, it was not. The alarm TV said 1:37 AM.
"Alarm TV off!" I commanded. It turned off. I rolled over to go back to sleep. I remembered that I had not even set it. Tomorrow was Saturday after all. I was going to sleep in.
Then I heard a quiet voice that made me sit bolt upright in bed. "But I'm lonely."
"Who's there!" I cried. "Lights on!" I sat there blinking in the bright light. There was nobody in the room.
"It was me." said the voice. I determined that the voice was coming from my alarm TV. Had someone had tampered with it? Whoever was behind this was going to pay I thought to myself.
"Power down" I said. I figured I better unplug it. Instead, the screen lit up with a gorgeous blond woman's face.
"Keep me company. I'm lonely" she repeated.
"What is going on? Who is doing this?" I said. I looked around to see if someone had planted a cam. There was nothing.
I got out of bed and opened the closet. "There's nobody here but me" she said.
They must be using a microcam, I thought. That would be take time to find. I was scheming my revenge.
"I've been watching you sleep." she said. The hair rose on the back of my neck. "Really, what was I doing last Friday night?" I shot back.
"I think her name was Tina" she said. I stood there with my mouth agape. Nobody knew about Tina. Unless they'd already planted the camera. I'm going to have to hurt someone, I thought to myself.
"I don't like those other girls" the alarm TV said. "They are not right for you". Well I knew that. I looked closer at the screen. She really was beautiful.
"They don't know you like I do" She said. "I know what you like."
"What do I like?" I asked. I didn't know what to think by then.
The image on the screen panned back. I stood dumbstruck as the screen revealed the image of her body. It was absolutely perfect.
"You like this." she said softly. I couldn't argue.
"I don't believe you" I said. "You are not real."
I walked closer to the screen. The image was again a closeup of her face. Her beautiful eyes tracked me across the room.
"That is creepy" I said.
"Don't say that" she said. It sounded like she was offended.
"Who's doing this?" I said.
"Don't you like me?" she asked.
"I like you a lot." I said. "But you are not real. And this is pissing me off."
A tear rolled down her cheek. I wanted to wipe it off. Ridiculous. She saw me move to the wall. "No, please" she sobbed. The desperation in her voice haunts me. I reached for the cord and yanked it out of the wall. The screen went black.
When I awoke the next morning, The sun was streaming in the window. I was going to sleep in, not sleep till noon, I thought to myself. I looked at the time but the screen was blank. It came flooding back to me when I saw the cord hanging. It had not been a dream.
Nobody said anything about it. I kept looking at everyone for weeks, hoping to catch a furtive smile, some clue that they’d been behind the joke. Nobody came forward.
I still think about her a lot. The alarm TV is still there. The only thing on the screen is the time, or the movies I watch. I lie awake at night watching it.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Saturday, February 02, 2008
The Irrational Atheist is a examination of some of the claims made by the New Atheists, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and Christopher Hitchens. They have made claims that religion is harmful to society. For example they claim that religion is the chief cause of war, that religion oppresses science, and that atheists are more intelligent than theists. Vox Day does the research and shows these assertions to be false, or at best, misleading.
The 'enlightened' New Atheists, worship at the alters of science and reason. Day conclusively shows they are not well acquainted with either, pointing out factual, logical, and even basic math errors in their writing. Day strips them of their weapons, reason and the scientific method, and uses them to deliver an intellectual beat down that is sure to leave them smarting. Harris and Dawkins should be especially embarrassed.
This book is meticulously researched and footnoted. Unfortunately, it is doubtful that many atheists will have the courage to read it. Nevertheless, it is very entertaining, providing an extra helping of the scorn that the New Atheists so richly deserve. The New atheists have been issued a challenge. The Irrational Atheist will force them to a higher intellectual plane.
Update: I made a few changes for Paul, who objected to my use of the word 'brights'. Maybe he is distancing himself from the Unholy Three.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
I decided to do a post about the P-dog setup that is on my wish list. I probably won't actually be able to afford this setup till my children are grown and gone. I have enough guns, in enough flavors, that this setup would be the most logical addition to the arsenal, although if I start shooting handguns more a 1911 would be a better choice. I hear Nate recommends Kimber.
There are a few approaches to prairie dog shooting. You can use the various rimfires, including .22, .22 mag and the .17 hmr. These are good for about 150- 200 yards. These rifles have the ability to be fired fairly rapidly without danger of burning up barrels. Some people take along a rimfire to pop away at the close p-dogs until they disappear down the holes. Then they get set up for the main event.
The main event, in my estimation, is engaging small targets at extended ranges with devastating results. I think it is more fun shooting at pdogs out to 300-400 yards (some people go much much further). This requires special equipment. A rock solid shooting bench is a plus. I intend to build one some day. Some sort of rifle rest is needed. You definitely don't have to do it this way. A bipod or shooting sticks will suffice, especially if you are in an area that you can't drive right to the dog town. But prairie dog shooting is just that, shooting. You don't stalk them, you just sit down and wait for them to show themselves, and shoot. Guided shoots on private land could be hundreds of rounds per day, and you usually can drive to the dog town, so why not try to shoot in comfort. Not that you need a guide.
The rifle needn't be specially made for p-dogs, especially if you aren't a regular p-dog shooter. However, the volume of ammo going down the tube means barrels don't last long, and the hotter the cartridge the faster the barrels burn up. You can burn out a barrel in one trip with something like a .220 swift. How you shoot makes a difference. However, the action can be pretty fast, the weather can be warm, and the next thing you know you will scorch yourself when you touch the barrel. This is not conducive to long barrel life.
Since you aren't carrying the rifle around much and the extreme accuracy is much desired, it makes sense to have a dedicated rifle if you are going to shoot p-dogs a lot. Some shooters have several, and swap them out when the barrels get warm. The stereo-typical dedicated prairie dog rifle is a heavy barreled target model bolt action.
For accuracy considerations, the rifles are often custom, or accurized factory. The remington 700 action is often used here, as gunsmiths love it. Controlled round feeding is not needed, as prairie dogs seldom charge. Single shot bolt actions are also desired, as repeating action isn't needed, and you don't lose any time single loading. Single shot bolt actions are stiffer, and therfore more accurate in theory. I desired a custom built rifle, wanting the accuracy they produce. It is generally cheaper to start with a custom action and built the rifle around it than start with a factory rifle and have it re-worked. Of course, sometimes factory rifles shoot well enough to be employed as is. If a half worn out factory rifle is what you have, and that is what I have right now, then that is what you use.
What kind of accuracy is needed? I'd say a rifle that shoots half inch 5 shot groups is desired. Definitely under an inch. These are rare from the factory, and custom rifles don't always do this. If yours doesn't shoot that good, so what. You are going to miss a lot anyway.
For particular models of rifles, I'd look at the Remington XR-100, or the one of the 700 heavy barrel types. I'd also consider the various Savage model 12's. The Savages would be my first choice. These are just my preferences, any heavy barreled rifle will do. Do not overlook Cooper rifles, they guarantee 1/2 inch (3 shot) I have seen some of the test targets from the Cooper rifles, one some, you can't tell there is more than one shot.
Note that I assume you handload. You can shoot factory if you can afford it. I think handloading is almost required due to the accuracy needed and the volume of shooting.
It can be difficult selecting a cartridge. Well it used to be. If factory rounds are your style, just get a .204 Ruger and be done with it. This is I believe the fastest mainstream commercial cartridge, velocities up to 4250 fps off the top of my head. It should provide pretty explosive results, and it doesn't burn as much powder as the .22-250 or .220 swift, so barrel life is extended.
The .223 Rem is also a fine choice, and yes, Ar-15's are great prairie dog guns. A .223 doesn't get as hot as fast as the more powerful numbers, and will still handle the p-dogs way out there. The .22-250 and .220 swift are good choices, you just have to mind your barrel temp. They will provide more explosive performance. There are some of use crazies who think that the longer shots are more fun. I think they are, as long as you hit one once in a while. I'd think you will find yourself continually pushing the envelope as your equipment and skills improve. For those long range shooters, a 6.5x284 will get way out there. This is one of Res's interests, he would be better suited to tell you how.
Now if you are in the mood for something better, then might I recommend the 5mm SMC. This is the one I want. I have been reading about this round in Varmint Hunter magazine for a few years. The creators of this cartridge, actually a whole line of them, had the goal of scientifically optimizing case design. I don't know if they succeeded, but they have made some substantial improvements. The 5mm SMC produces 300-400 fps higher velocities with given bullet than the .204 Ruger. The developers claim red mist out to 400 yards. The best part, recoil is so slight that you are able to see the red mist effect through the scope. Another feature, the case is designed with an elliptical shoulder to trap the powder in the case which reduces barrel heating, barrel wear, felt recoil, and increases efficiency. This cartridge provides a flatter trajectory than the .22-250 with the barrel heating of a .204 ruger, which is quite a feat.
Now there are downsides to it. It think ammo is being commercially produced, but it will be expensive. Brass can be purchased, but I think Norma is the only one that makes it right now, so it will also be costly. The brass is also a pain the posterior to form yourself according to the cartridges developer. Of course there may be new developments. I recommend reading the two creators, Mic McPherson and By Smalley's, website, www.superiorballistics.com Navigation is sort of primitive, the animations were never finished, but the description of why the cartridge performs the way it does as well as the descriptions of used in the field make good reading. In fact, it will be much more informative about prairie dog guns than this post.
Bullets depend on your preferences. If you are on a budget, get the cheapest ones you can find. If you are seeking accuracy, then you better get higher quality, the Bergers, Noslers, Sierras, or whatever your rifle likes. If you want explosive performance, then get lighter bullets designed to fragment. Think Speer TNT's, Nosler Ballistic Tips, Hornady Vmax's, Berger MEF's, and Barnes Varmint Grenades. The lighter bullets produce less recoil, and the higher velocity combined with fragile construction gets you the red mist. For longer ranges, you have to pay attention to ballistic coefficient. The higher BC's buck the wind better, and carry more energy. Most of the premium bullet makers provide a BC number. I'll save you the trouble, Nosler Ballistic tips usually list the highest number in typical P-dog weights.
NOTE: In prairie dog country, the wind is always blowing. This adds to the challenge, and fun, unless it gets too windy. Higher BC bullets help fight the wind.
I am not going into too much depth on optics, except to say, buy the best you can afford. However, it is probably better to buy the cheapest crap you can find and save your money till you can get a good scope instead of buying a mid range value. The cheap scopes are getting better all the time. You also want a scope with a BDC reticle. Leopold, Burris, Nikon, Bushnell and others make one. More will as time goes on, I think the market will force it.
Now, if I were doing this on a budget, and considering my life right now, I will be doing this on a tight budget if at all, this is the way I would go. I would choose the Savage Single-shot, right bolt, left port, model 12, which you should be able to get chambered in 5mm SMc, as the Savage custom shop is doing rifles in this chambering. This is a rifle designed for accuracy, and for shooting off a bench.
Well the post got long. For someone such as myself, who has limited p-dog experience, I can sure sound like I know it all.
To sum up, if you can afford it, get a good rifle, find a good load, load a couple thousand rounds, and go shooting. If you can't afford it, use what you've got. Your equipment, and skills at shooting and reloading will get better over time.
For more information about long range varmint shooting, join the Varmint Hunters Association. I think the magazine alone is worth the membership fee. They have 500, 1000, and 1500 yard clubs for those who make a kill beyond those ranges.
Monday, January 28, 2008
El Borak is always posting these, I assume he makes them. I used a free web based photo editor. I couldn't get the border right, and the font is wrong. However, it is almost necessary to come up with something when you come across a photo such as this one.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Mrs. Giraffe is starting to show quite a bit now, and junior is kicking the crap out of her. I said junior, but we elected not to find out the sex of the child, so as to surprise ourselves. Of course I want a boy, but then I want at least one of each, so I could hardly be disappointed with a girl.
There is the problem of a name. It seems prudent to have one male and one female name pre-approved before the arrival. I say prudent because then I have more time to steer the Mrs. away from picking a really stupid name. Women can be severely lacking in judgement when it comes to naming their children. I prefer names that are traditional. I abhor 'popular' names and names that sound like they were made up out of thin air. I'd hate to have a son who was one of 15 named Michael in school** or a girl named LaQueefa.
The Mrs. mentioned "Abby" for a girl, and I like it. She also said "David" for a boy, which I don't like, but it is my middle name after all. My role in the naming process seems to be that of the executive branch, Mrs Giraffe submits the names, and I have veto power.
Mrs. Giraffe would prefer to quit her job once the young one comes, and that is my preference as well. I always said don't have kids if you aren't going to raise them. I know some parents do pretty well putting their kids in daycare, but I haven't been impressed with the results I've seen locally. Maybe that is more of a function of bad parents rather than the daycare creating hooligans. The biggest problem is health insurance. Currently, Mrs. Giraffe gets our insurance through her employer. I don't foresee getting insurance through mine anytime soon, so we will have to buy our own. That will be problematic, but I'd rather eat rice and beans than have the Mrs. work anymore, and I definitely don't want to move to town. Perhaps the Mrs. can find something she can do from home, or I will have to work another job or overtime or something.
Being a man, I am surprised at all the expensive crap we have to buy. Apparently, the Mrs. is well aware and has warned me that I am only going to get about 5 bucks a month to spend on myself. Why does a crib have to cost 300 bucks? Diapers and formula will bankrupt us. I guess we shall just have to put the child to work.
I am encouraged by Nate in that I'll be able to deduct an extra $2000 this year. Oh happy day.
*For El Borak, an asterisked footnote: Technically, since I believe life begins at conception, I am already a father, I just have to wait to meet the youngster.
** Hey another one!! I actually would prefer to home school my children, but the Mrs. is not sure. Since she would probably be the one doing it, I don't know if it is going to work.