Thursday, January 10, 2008


Sometime in month of May your Giraffe will become a father*.

Mrs. Giraffe is starting to show quite a bit now, and junior is kicking the crap out of her. I said junior, but we elected not to find out the sex of the child, so as to surprise ourselves. Of course I want a boy, but then I want at least one of each, so I could hardly be disappointed with a girl.

There is the problem of a name. It seems prudent to have one male and one female name pre-approved before the arrival. I say prudent because then I have more time to steer the Mrs. away from picking a really stupid name. Women can be severely lacking in judgement when it comes to naming their children. I prefer names that are traditional. I abhor 'popular' names and names that sound like they were made up out of thin air. I'd hate to have a son who was one of 15 named Michael in school** or a girl named LaQueefa.

The Mrs. mentioned "Abby" for a girl, and I like it. She also said "David" for a boy, which I don't like, but it is my middle name after all. My role in the naming process seems to be that of the executive branch, Mrs Giraffe submits the names, and I have veto power.

Mrs. Giraffe would prefer to quit her job once the young one comes, and that is my preference as well. I always said don't have kids if you aren't going to raise them. I know some parents do pretty well putting their kids in daycare, but I haven't been impressed with the results I've seen locally. Maybe that is more of a function of bad parents rather than the daycare creating hooligans. The biggest problem is health insurance. Currently, Mrs. Giraffe gets our insurance through her employer. I don't foresee getting insurance through mine anytime soon, so we will have to buy our own. That will be problematic, but I'd rather eat rice and beans than have the Mrs. work anymore, and I definitely don't want to move to town. Perhaps the Mrs. can find something she can do from home, or I will have to work another job or overtime or something.

Being a man, I am surprised at all the expensive crap we have to buy. Apparently, the Mrs. is well aware and has warned me that I am only going to get about 5 bucks a month to spend on myself. Why does a crib have to cost 300 bucks? Diapers and formula will bankrupt us. I guess we shall just have to put the child to work.

I am encouraged by Nate in that I'll be able to deduct an extra $2000 this year. Oh happy day.

*For El Borak, an asterisked footnote: Technically, since I believe life begins at conception, I am already a father, I just have to wait to meet the youngster.

** Hey another one!! I actually would prefer to home school my children, but the Mrs. is not sure. Since she would probably be the one doing it, I don't know if it is going to work.

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