Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. -O'Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. -Leno
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. -Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America ! -Fallon
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. -Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. -Letterman
Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America . Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone, including the President.
They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.
"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"
"Yep. Sure did." the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off the tractor's engine.
"Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States ?"
"Were there any survivors?"
"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning..."
"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff shouted.
"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept a-saying he wasn't...
But you know how bad that sumbitch lies."